Just that Sinner

4

The sun starts to set and they both decide to get ready for bed. "Goodnight, let me know if you need anything," Amethyst tells her, as she walks into her room. "Thanks! I will. Really, thank you for everything, goodnight Ami." Meagan says back. She thinks about everything that has just taken place before slipping off into a deep, much-needed sleep.
When the sun starts to rise Meagan starts to wake up. It takes her a few minutes to remember where she is and what all happened. She rubs her eyes, gets up, and walks out of her room. To her surprise, she sees Amethyst already up sitting at the table intently looking at her laptop. She knows it's been a while since they've seen each other but, Amethyst has always been a "never wake up before noon unless you have to" type of person. Who is she to judge though, people change.
"Good morning, sleep well?" Meagan asks, walking up beside her but still keeping her distance. Amethyst takes a sip of her coffee before answering, "No, not really. Is it morning already?" She asks and then looks at the time. Meagan giggles and sits on a chair next to her, "Yeah, it is like 6 in the morning. What are you working on anyways?" she asks her. "Oh nothing much, just you know, a lawsuit," Amethyst says so abruptly with a smile. "Ami!" Meagan shouts, "I told you, I could handle it!" She continues. Amethyst then puts her hand on Meagan's shoulders in an attempt to calm her but, she feels her flinch so she removes it. "I am doing this because I love you. I never stopped loving you and even if you don't love me or even yourself, I will continue to love you." She says gently trying not to cause Meagan to have any more anxiety than she already does.
Meagan looks down at her hands, "Don't lie to me, Ami." She says coldly.
"Megs, it wasn't me who kept us apart and you know that. Your parents are to blame and mine are too for moving." Amethyst says but gets no reply.
"What do I need to do for you to trust me." She then asks "How can I know the answer to that when everyone I ever trusted has hurt me and I can't even trust myself!" She yells throwing her hands up in the air and standing up from the table. "I can't trust my own judgment, I can't trust myself to not want to hurt myself, I can't trust that the next person who comes into my life won't be a rapist!"She shouts.
Amethyst just sits there with an unreadable facial expression leaving Meagan to think she was mad at her. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for not respecting you and for not showing my great fullness. I should've known my place, please continue with your work." Meagan tells her like she's quoting a script, afraid she's going to get hurt.
"Meagan," Amethyst says as she stands up but notices the rise in  Meagan's anxiety at the moment making the girl start to back away. So, Amethyst decided to sit back down. "You don't need to apologize, it's not your fault. I know people must've told you that a million times but it's truly  not your fault that he hurt you." She tells her.
Meagan finally looks up "Actually no one has told me that. The one time I told my parents they told me it was my fault for choosing this sinful lifestyle and if I wasn't a sinner then God would've saved me." She says walking back to sit down next to Amethyst who is at a loss for words so she just lets Meagan speak.
"After my parents caught us in the field that night, I was on the streets. So, at 16 I found the first person who was willing to help me fulfill that promise we made to each other. You know, the one about being movie stars? Well, sadly it was Ryan, and growing up I was so sheltered that I didn't know the dangers that came with living in the world. I was always told to live in but not of the world so I didn't expect this. I didn't know that he was a director for the adult entertainment business. I didn't even know what the difference between that and regular movies where. I was told that all movies were of the devil so in my mind I thought they all must've been the same. " Meagan voice cracked and she started to cry, Amethyst attempted to say something but she cut her off. "No, I need to tell someone this. Ryan kept our relationship purely business, he'd find me co-stars and that would be it. When he raped me right before my 18th birthday and told me I was good for letting him do it I believed him for a second. It was the first time he went all the way with me, other times I just did it with random people for scenes. It felt wrong though, so I called my family and asked, they told me it was God's way of telling me what I did with you was wrong. I thought that was the end of it but it kept getting worse and my family cut every last last tie with me. Meaning they wouldn't answer the phone or my letters, I seriously have no one left." A few seconds go by before Amethyst says anything. She needed time to wrap his head around this, Ryan took advantage of her while she was still legally a child.  Amethyst honestly didn't know what to say but she knew she had to say something. "You, my dear, you are so much more than how they all treated you.  You are more than your body or what you believe in. I just can't wrap my head around how so many people can do that to someone so innocent. You were failed by the system and your family and I promise to fight for you and your future. I should've fought more to see you when we were kids. I hate the world sometimes, I hate stupid fucking men who think money, power, and control are everything!"  She yells, hitting her fist on the table before calming down. Amethyst looks up and sees a very frightened Meagan and it calms her. "I'm so sorry about that, I just see you and I see someone who isn't only beautiful in looks but also in spirit. You have your whole life ahead of you and for him to take that and tamper it is so unbelievably frustrating. I am honestly so embarrassed to be in this business where people like you are hurt every day." She says.
"It's an industry where hurt people hurt people." Meagan whispers. Amethyst looks into Meagan's eyes and they both start to cry. "I will do everything I can to fix this." Amethyst whispers back.
They enjoy each other's company as they hug and cry leaving the shoulders of their shirts damp from tears. "Hey, Meagan?" Amethyst asks. "Yes?" She answers undoing the hug. "I'm sorry, I realize me asking for your trust wasn't right of me. Trust isn't given, it's earned. I'm not asking for your trust but I am always here for you. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you to believe that. Just let me know if anything I do or say upsets you okay?" she tells her. "Thank you, Ami, it will be hard and I'm not quite there yet but, I hope I will be someday. You seem like a really good person." Meagan says then continues. ", I do need to tell you something though. Please don't flip out, you can always kick me out but I need to tell you this." She says making Amethyst worry.
"I think I'm pregnant," Meagan tells her.
Amethyst stands there in shock but keeps calm, "Okay, we can deal with this." She replies in hopes to convince herself that as well. On the other hand, she likes the idea of helping Meagan raise a baby and becoming a happy, little family.