CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: The Hospital, Montpelier

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Sitting on a bench, staring her hands as they balled into fists, Elena fought with all her strength to keep the tears at bay. Asher was in a coma, and the doctors didn't know if he would wake up.

His injuries were bad. He had gone through multiple operations, one of which was to remove his lower leg. It had been stuck between two pieces of the car and hadn't had blood for a very long time. The doctors had hoped they could save the leg, but after two days they had made the decision to remove it.

And still Asher hadn't woken up.

It was three days later and he still hadn't shown any progress. He was lying like dead in his hospital bed. His face was pale, his lips had no color and his leg was gone. Even if he survived, his life had changed forever.

And it was all Elena's fault. If only she hadn't pushed him to hurry. If only she hadn't called him, but waited until he arrived at her house. If only she had been more patient.

But after five days of no response and no progress, the doctors were doubting his strength. He might never wake up again. They were thinking about relieving him from his pain and pulling out the machines.

Those few machines that kept him alive.

That one machine that kept beeping slowly.

It was the reason she had run outside. The sun was shining bright and it was quiet around her. But she had heard enough silence. She wanted to hear Asher's voice. She wanted to see his smile and feel his touch.

But he might die.

And it was all because of her.

A shadow fell over her. She looked up to find Mr. Singleton bent over her.

"This is on you, Elena," he said in rage, pointing an accusing finger at her. "I told you that you were a bad influence on him, and now look at what you have done. Getting him in trouble with the police is one thing, but now you have successfully gotten in the hospital."

He clapped his hands at an insultingly slow pace.

"Congratulations," he said sarcastically. "I hope you're proud of what you have achieved. If you're lucky, my boy won't even wake up. And if he does, he might never walk again."

Mr. Singleton scoffed. "But that doesn't mean anything to you. You only wanted to make a good boy bad. And now you killed him."

He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I hope you get what you deserve."

Without sparing Elena another glance, he turned around and walked away, back to his dying son. Elena watched tears fall down on her hands. She had killed him.

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The next day, Elena walked into the hospital room when no visitors were there. It was hard to see the man she loved so much lying so still on the bed. It was even harder to know that it was all because of her.

Asher's chest rose and fell with every soft breath he took. But if someone would take the machines away, the motion would stop.

With small steps she walked closer to the bed and took his cold hand in hers. She squeezed it, but he didn't squeeze back. A tear rolled down her cheek.

She looked at him and caressed his cheek.

"You are so beautiful," she told him, even though he might not hear her. "There is so much I should tell you right now, but I can't. I want to be sure you hear my words, but I can't tell you while you're awake because I can't face you anymore. So by the time you're awake, I won't be here."

With her free hand, she wiped away her tears. Her voice broke with her next words.

"So I'm here to say goodbye. And thank you. I have spent so many amazing moments with you. You are the kindest, sweetest, most handsome man that has ever hit me with his truck, and I'm not even mad about it. How could I? How could I ever be mad at you?"

She sobbed loudly while squeezing his hand again. No response.

"I'm sorry that I'm doing this. I'm sure it hurts. It hurts you just as much as it hurts me. But I don't see another way out. If you want to hate me, then please do. Because if you're mad at me, you don't want me back. And that's how it's supposed to be."

She defeatedly dropped her arms, the tears now falling on their hands.

"You will probably think I'm weak," she sobbed. "And the truth is, I am. I can't stand the pressure of all our lies. I can't beat your father and I can't take care of you. Look at you. You're in the hospital because of me. You bribed a cop because of me. You did so many things because of me. And I can't deny my guilt. So it's better-" She sobbed. "It's better if it ends here."

She took his head in her hands and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"I love you, Asher. And I'm going to miss you."

Releasing him, she took an envelope out of her purse and laid it on his bedside table. She had written what she wanted him to hear – what he deserved to know – what she couldn't tell him.

Now she could only hope he understood. She didn't have another choice. She couldn't stay with him and wait for the doctors to announce his passing. She wasn't ready to hear those words.

And if he would wake up, she couldn't watch him limp. Guilt would always eat her up inside, but hopefully it would be easier if she wasn't in Saint Charles to be reminded of the accident.

She walked to the end of the bed and watched him. The blanket was lifted so that his amputated leg was visible. With tears in her eyes, she laid it proper so that no one could see his leg ended underneath his knee.

She wiped the tears off her cheeks, then walked out of the room. She had said her goodbye. She had made peace with her decision. Now there was only one more thing to do.

Julie was in the hallway, waiting for Elena to come out of Asher's room. Her friend's eyes were watery, but she tried to hide it with a comforting smile.

"Are you leaving with Kay and Emily?" Julie asked.

Elena nodded, not wanting to speak. Her voice would break and her regret would show. Julie looked compassionate.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" the nurse asked.

Again, Elena nodded. She looked her friend in the eye, then asked: "do you know someone who can arrange an abortion?"

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