Perseverance

Chapter Twenty Two ~ April

"Did you have fun?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"I... yes," I admit.

"Well then." He shrugs. "Sounds like a good time to me."

"It's embarrassing," I correct him.

"No." He shakes his head. "It was hot."

I step back, running my hand down my face as I look up at him. I know exactly what happened back in that room, I'm not stupid. Somehow, somewhere along the line, I've lost complete control over myself, instead bending my every whim to Ellis and whatever he wants. I crave his touch, desire him enough to let my power go and indulge.

I'm losing myself. What happened to never being out of control ever again? I can't do this...

"Ellis, I need to leave," I say softly, stepping back and tearing my gaze from his.

"No, Bec-"

"I'm losing control around you," I admit, letting my eyes find his torment-filled ones. "I hate that."

"That's a lie. You have a ridiculous amount of control over me, Bec." Ellis reaches out, enveloping my hand with his, almost begging me with his eyes. I nearly fold. I can feel the resolve weakening inside me, even a mere look at the turmoil saturated eyes has me buckling.

This isn't healthy. Not for me, not now, not ever. It can't be. I have no idea what will happen if I give up all of my control.

Quickly, I pull my hand away from him. "It's not enough," I whisper, turning and heading for the exit. I don't even have to look over my shoulder to know that he's frozen in place, watching me leave.

*~*~*

I push the door open to the apartment, stepping inside and locking it shut behind me. I rest my head back against it, shutting my eyes and letting out the mammoth breath I've been holding ever since I walked away from Ellis.

A sudden sniffle has me confused, head shooting back up, eyes open as I look over towards the couch. Sav glances back at me, her green eyes glistening with tears, wrapped up in a blanket.

"Sav!" I exclaim, chucking my purse on the table and hurriedly walking towards her.

"You look nice," she says quietly, shooting me a weak smile.

"What happened?" I ask and she shrugs, burrowing down further in the seat.

"Brett."

"Brett?" I repeat, confusion filling my features. He's at a damn wedding, how did the boy manage to upset her from so far away?

"He... he's moved on."

"Sav-"

"No!" she cuts me off. "His mom was there at lunch today, Becky."

"Wait, what?" I exclaim, falling down beside her. I remember Brett's mom from growing up, an incredibly pristine woman, not a hair out of place, forever holding a glass of champagne in her hand. "Did Alice invite her?"

"No." Sav shakes her head. "It was pure coincidence. I accidentally told her that I was pregnant."

"And? How did she take it?" I ask, cringing slightly at all the horrific scenarios playing out in my head.

"She was ridiculously happy," Sav admits and I grin, reaching over and pulling her into a hug.

"What?" I exclaim. "Then why are you sad, bestie?"

"Because I went to see Brett straight after lunch. His mom said some things, made me realize how much I've punished him for the past. I went to apologize and he turned me away." She sobs at the end and I tighten my grip on her as I think back to Brett and Lacey, the way he guided her out of the room earlier tonight.