Perseverance

Chapter Forty Four ~ August

I'm walking straight for him. There's no hesitation, even though my conscience is screaming at me to stop. This is the worst move to make. I've been without Ellis for a month and my obsession with him hasn't diminished. Why the hell would approaching him make it any easier?

But I can't stop myself.

My feet are determined, my hands are shoved onto my hips, false confidence on my face as I head straight for the boy who ripped my heart out.

He doesn't move, his eyes completely focused on me, trailing every inch of my body.

Within seconds, I'm in front of him. Both of us are silent. I take the opportunity to take him in; the dark red shirt, the light blue jeans, the twinkle in his damn eyes.

It takes all the strength in me to not jump his bones right here.

"Becky." His voice is lower than usual, but no less addictive.

"Ellis," I greet him in return. He visibly reacts to my voice, shifting on his feet. His mouth curls up in a smile.

"How are you?"

"Good," I lie, smiling back. "You?"

"Not so good," he counters and I raise an eyebrow, surprised at his honesty. After all, him and I are the same—we hide our feelings behind a veil of sarcasm and confidence. We always have. Except... now.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I force myself to say and he nods, looking down at his shoes. I've come to recognise it as the action he takes whenever his emotions are too high. He hides his face from the world.

"Thank you." This time, his voice is hollow.

"What are you doing here?" I change the subject, my tone light-hearted. Let's disguise the tension with something else.

Ellis looks up, smirking slightly. "I'm about to drink my night away," he admits, gesturing behind me to the building.

"Oh! And then score a girl?" I tease, even though my heart aches as soon as the words leave my mouth.

"What?" Ellis looks shocked and a strange surge of relief pulses through me. "Of course not!"

"Oh," I mutter once more.

"Becky, you're still the only girl I can think of—"

"You're in luck. There are lots of spare tables in there," I hurriedly say, cutting him off to avoid the conversation that could batter away any self control I have left.

"There is?" he answers, luckily continuing my topic. "What are you doing here?"

I hesitate, my heart pounding erratically, begging me not to admit the truth. "I was... on a date," I tell him. Ellis' shoulders visibly drop and I swallow the lump in my throat, a wave of sorrow filling me at his expression.

"I see." His voice cracks in the middle. Stepping back, he moves away from me. He's done with our conversation, my revelation too much for him to handle. I understand. I'd feel the same if he told me he was meeting a woman.

He's no longer looking at me, hands shoved into his jean pockets as he walks towards the bar.

I don't know what possesses me, or what demon fucking takes over my mind, but suddenly I'm calling after him, "He's not here, Ellis."

He stops, turning on his heel. "What?"

I gesture around me. "I'm alone. No-one left the bar with me," I explain. "The date was a mistake."

I see the dark cloud lift from his face. "It was?" he presses. Now he looks smug. Fucking idiot.

"Don't flatter yourself," I retort, crossing my arms. "I'm just not ready to date."