My Misadventures

36: I'm Not a Physics Expert

Okay y'all I'm kinda angry because wattpad won't let me attach music/ videos to the chapters any more. I've tried multiple times and nothing comes up so I will list songs / when to play them, but I can't attach it to the chapter sorry.

Eyes on the prize, Skylar. I think dully, pouring a bowl of cereal. I don't feel like eating. Even the thought of putting a spoonful in my mouth makes me want to puke.

I rest my head on the table. I can do this. I can. I have to! Okay. One bite at a time. I close my eyes, lifting my head off the table. One bite at a time.

I slap my cheeks to hype myself up, then take a bite. It tastes awful. Nothing against Frosted Flakes, I just hate food right now.

"Doin' alright there, pal?" My dad looks at me funny.

"Yeah." I'm lying again. "Just breakfast."

"You've been acting strange lately." He observes. "What's up kiddo? Anything I can help you with?"

I don't answer right away. But I don't want to lie. "It's been five days."

"Hey, the week is almost up!"

"That's the problem. I got better for like three days. Then I came crashing down all over again."

"Are you taking your meds?"

I nod. "Every day. Just like you said. But this isn't depression. At least, I don't think it is. I feel sick all the time, and my hands are always shaking like I'm on caffeine or something. As soon as finals were done, I slept like a log. I only ever wake up to go to work, then move my stuff over here, then crash immediately after. I'm always busy, but I have too much time to think."

He considers this quietly, letting me continue.

"And I just- I miss him, dad. But I can't rope him into this mess again. I can't do that to him. It's not fair." I let out a heavy sigh. "I want to get back together with him, but... What if he doesn't want to get back together with me? What if he realizes he's better off without me? It's been five days and I'm not better, dad. I don't know what to do or how to fix it."

"I think you're still burnt out from the end of the semester." My dad says. "And you haven't had much time to actually slow down and catch your breath. You need to relax."

"But if I relax, then I'll forget something, and it'll all fall apart again." I lament, putting my head down on the table.

"I really don't know what to do, bud." Dad says honestly. "But hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained?"

I look up at him. "What do you mean?"

He shrugs. "I was hoping you would find meaning in it."

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained, huh?" I lean back in my chair and think for a couple seconds. "What if I... went today? And just gave in? I'm tired of being apart, and he probably is too. But what if he's not ready to get back together?! What if he still needs time?"

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained!" My dad says. "Just do it! You're young and immature! Take risks and be adventurous!"

Take risks and be adventurous. I can do that. "Okay. I'm going to go tel him."

"Tell him what?" My dad yells. "I want to hear you say it!"

"I'm going to tell him I love him!"

"Nothing ventured!" My dad holds out a fist, which I bump with my own.

"Nothing gained!"

With the new burst of determination, I suit up. Dad helps me find a warm jacket to put over my suit, then I thwip off into the distance. Thank god this place has tall buildings.