His wandering eye.

chapter 4

Megan

I woke up the morning after the festival feeling better than I had in years. It took me a second to realize where I was. Waking up the morning after a new moon heat cycle is like waking from a night of hard drinking minus the hangover. Normally I felt shame over what I had done. Looking at the man next to me I felt complete and fulfilled. I still felt him between my legs. I was swollen and used in the best way.  His fangs were gone, his nails looked nicely trimmed. As I looked at him I debated stroking his cock to wake him up in the best way I could imagine being woken up. I craved him. Just the thought having his cum shooting up inside me had me needing fresh air. I walked over to the large floor to ceiling window straight across from the foot of the bed. I could see people starting to move around outside. I watched them as I gathered my thoughts. Something happened last night and I felt so different than any other time. It hurt to be so far across the room from him. I had to go though. Before I got dressed though I took advantage of my time alone to breath and be giddy. I wondered if he was my mate? If I would finally have a baby like I'd so longed for. My heart raced at the idea.

My mother used to sit with my sister Morgan and I and talk to us about the blessings and the curses of being pregnant. Not all of it was things we wanted to know. Like how turned on some women get. Imagining my mother as turned on made my sister and I cringe. But my mom had a smirk and a gleam in her eyes. My parents loved one another more than most I'd seen. My mom was originally from Jason's pack. My dad had met her  at a new moon festival. Much like myself most people didn't remember many details. Both men and women went animalistic with lust and desire.  I remembered Jason's eyes turning golden. Was that his normal eye color? I hadn't seen his eyes without pure lust filling them. I spotted my pack members heading out before all the others. I snuck around the room gathering my clothes and getting dressed. The only walk of shame that exists after a new moon festival is the one you make if you went through it alone. Going through a heat without release has actually  killed people. Especially with our kind being so sexual. We need sex to function properly. Before walking out of the room I looked back at the nest we'd made in the bed. Pride swelled within me at that thought. A proper mating leading to cubs needs a proper start. Oh how I hoped and prayed. He seemed like he held gentleness within him last night. Thankfully he gave me the opposite in bed though. I loved still feeling him even now and wanted it to last for days. I walked to his side of the bed and kissed his forehead. I walked out the door feeling ecstatic mixed with guilt for leaving him. Then it hit me, he'd never kissed me. Yet I had wanted to mark  him.
I still did.

I ran into Thomas as we were loading onto buses for our trip back home to Michigan. "Hey Megan." He said as he held out an arm signaling for me to go ahead of him. "Hey yourself." "Did you enjoy yourself?" He asked giving me a knowing look. "Actually I did." I answered but didn't know how to respond  since the last time I was around him he humiliated me. He was still never clear as to why he had flirted and if it was all just for show. I had to know. "Thomas did you only flirt with me the other day just to humiliate me? You used my emotions against myself in front of everyone else as a lesson." I asked him. He smiled as he followed me into a seat. He leaned in close and asked "Did you like it when I flirted with you? I didn't mind it and I'll probably keep doing it in the future." We rode in silence the rest of the way. I felt better knowing he didn't seem to intentionally hurt me.

A week later at breakfast in the dining  hall Thomas once again sat at the long table with me. Things were nice with him but nothing stirred inside me like the way just thinking about Jason had.  "You're looking lovely today" he said. "Please tell me that's not the best pick up line you've  got." I teased.  Before he could respond an older man came in and headed straight for our table. " Thomas. Jake wants you now." He rushed out. "Did the alpha send you himself? If so did he say what it was about?" Thomas responded. "Only that it's urgent and to bring young  Megan with you." This had us both looking at each other with questioning looks.

We walked into the alpha manner. I hadn't been here since I was a teenager when I would attend a function with my father.
It was beautiful as you walked in with a grand stair case that would make a palace look shabby. A crystal chandelier above that shined so brightly it was hard to look at. We were guided  down the corridor to the side. Once we got to the alphas office door Thomas walked in like I'm sure he had many times before as the Beta. "Awe, Thomas glad to see you came." Said Jake, our packs Alpha. He was older now,  his own cubs were my age. "Of course Alpha." Thomas said politely. "I take it you know why you've both been called into my office by now Thomas. How are things progressing?"  I gave a questioning look to both men. "We've made progress but it's slower without a mate connection as you know." Thomas said. At this point I needed answers. "What's going on? Why am I here?" I questioned. Jake was another massive man who's age didn't affect his Intimidating appearance. I'd heard he was to turn 60 this year. But his hair was still solid black. "You're going to marry Thomas." he said matter of factly. I stepped back in shock. Thomas simply glanced at me and gave a nod saying "Soon but not right away." "Actually Thomas" he cut in "Things have changed. Turns out with the last unwed pack alpha looking for his mate it's  been decided it will happen in 3 weeks after the next new moon festival. We need to appear strong. An unwed Beta draws questions. If he's unwed they wonder why and look for answers in the past. If other packs realize his mate was killed and he can never have have cubs they'll see he has no hope of an heir. Marrying the former Betas daughter shows unity within our ranks. No one within our own pack who respected your father will question his position either. Win win". I responded the only way I could "of course that's very wise." I would never be a mother or truly be loved.