chapter 18-Becca

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(whoops! I thought this was a Becca chapter!)

"It's time for lunch sweetheart" I said poking my head into my room where Rae was curled up on my bed reading a book.

"No." she said looking at me for a second before turning back to her book.

"You barely ate your breakfast pea, you have to eat lunch." I said softly.

"Not hungry." she said, turning so her back was facing me.

"I set your plate on the table" I said reaching for my phone as it started to ring "It's waiting for you when you are ready." I said walking away and answering the call.

"How's everything going over there?" April asked, it had been a few days since Rae had transitioned back and things had not been the smoothest.

"Ummmmm"I said scratching the back "hectic."

"What does that mean?" she asked in confusion.

"It means I have never met this Riley and I don't know how to be with her or how to work with her." I said.

"What does that mean?" she repeated.

"I said that wrong" I groaned "I love Raelynn. Big or little, I don't care because she is my little girl. But I think she is mad and confused and scared and mad and it shows in her attitude. And let me tell you she's got more attitude than any 5 foot 99 pound little girl should have." I said with a laugh. "She wants to be little again and I want her to be little again, but only because she wants it so bad. Obviously I love little Raelynn but if she was big for the rest of our lives I would be happy."

"Have you told her this?" she asked.

"Yes!" I said in frustration "multiple times everyday. I think I have a plan, but it's totally crazy, and could backfire."

"What's the plan?" She asked.

"I'm going to ask Mrs. Carter to come live in code 2" I said after a second "There's a three bedroom house for sale down the road from our house that I think would be perfect for her."

"Thats actually a really good idea." April said.

"I know we like Little Steps" I said after a second "but I figured we could ask her to watch the kids when we were at work. That way she can get some sort of income and spend time with the kids."

"Another good idea." she said.

"Do you think you can watch her so I can contact her without worrying about any eavesdroppers?"

"Of course, drop her off anytime" before I could say anything else I heard her whisper something and then she said "I have to go Bec's Max just woke up from his nap. Tell me what she says."

I sighed as I walked into the kitchen and saw that Raelynn had still not come out to eat her lunch,I knew why she was upset and refusing meals but I didn't know how to help her. Raelynn was in the routine of nursing before most meals and before bed and now that it stopped she was having troubles with both. I told her that she could still nurse if she wanted to, that big or little she was still my baby, but once again her father got into her head and she said no thanks Becca I'm not a baby.

I'm not a baby is the new catch phrase at our house. She won't take naps because she's not a baby. I had to convince her to wear pull ups because she's not a baby, but she didn't usually make it to the toilet on time now that she was so used to diapers. She doesn't play in the playroom because she's not a baby and she's only seen Max once.

"Raelynn" I said walking back into my room "I need you to eat lunch so we can go to April's house for a bit okay."

"Don want to go." she said with a frown.

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