Forbidden Fruit

Chapter 22

After that night the rest of the term went quickly, and in what feels like no time at all the Christmas holidays were round the corner. Guess life goes fast when you're having fun. 

I'd had such a good time. 

Yeah there had been hiccups but honestly everything had turned out for the best. If my parents hadn't pushed me away then I wouldn't have met my awesome friends, and if I hadn't have left Anna than I wouldn't have been able to get with Vic. 

I was beginning to forgive my ex-girlfriend. Although it didn't excuse what she did, I was the one who left so it wasn't like I was completely innocent in all this, and I wanted to let go of the grudge anyway. I mean it wasn't like I would become best friends with her anytime soon, but forgiving her was a good way of moving on completely. And I was getting there. 

Besides I really wanted all of that in the past. Vic and I had become official a month and a half ago and our relationship had been awesome so far. She still managed to surprise me every time we met up, and although she was damn tempting and teased me with her gorgeous body often, she was fairly conservative and we hadn't had sex yet. If you judged her just by the company she had kept at the beginning of the year, than it would be easy to assume she was quick to give everything. 

But she wasn't like that at all. She was just a cool girl and I really liked her. 

The dirty looks I got from people had stopped as well. I think Vic might've said something to a few of her ex-friends (she barely even talked to them anymore) and I had gotten in a couple of arguments with people towards the beginning of our relationship, but since then I hadn't heard a peep. It was pretty awesome. 

I had great friends, a great uni life and a sweet relationship going for me here in America. It was hard to want to go back. In fact the uni had offered to make my course into a full, three year degree and I was very tempted to take the offer up. I was probably going to. Things were just so cool here. 

And yet...I didn't know what it was, why I was feeling like it or where it had come from, but I felt like something in my life was missing. And it sucked. 

I talked to Vic about it later that night, as we sat together on the cave ledge watching the sea against the clear Winter sky. It didn't really get that cold in Southern California; it felt more like early Spring in the UK, but not as wet. Still we were reasonably wrapped up: warm clothes were the best.  

I felt comfortable with Vic. I could talk to her about anything. We were both a lot more open about ourselves than we'd been at the beginning, and now we knew each other well. She'd told me about her family which were generally pretty non-existent: just a Dad who worked all the time and bought her anything she wanted, and yet couldn't find a day out of the year to be available. I never wanted to meet him, he sounded like an arse. 

"Maybe you still feel guilty," she suggested, leaning her head against my chest as I wrapped an arm around her waist. "You know, about leaving everyone back in the UK." 

I frowned. If I was being honest I thought about home very little nowadays, but maybe I was feeling more homesick than I was letting on. "Possibly. I hadn't really thought about it that way." 

"I can teach you, you know." 

"Teach me what?" 

"How to let go of that guilt, that responsibility." She looked up and fluttered those gorgeous eyes at me, and I was completely captivated like a sailor trapped by a siren. "You're too young to be kept down by those kind of things, and you don't deserve to live like that." 

I stared intensely at her for a moment. "How will you teach me that?" 

"I'll show you," she said quietly, her voice low. "I'll show you how to live like I do, with nothing to lose and everything to gain, with nothing to look back on and everything to look forward to. And then it will just come naturally." 

I didn't say anything for a while. Instead I just stared, wondering whether she was really onto something, whether her way of life was something to believe in. 

"I'll teach you to be free," she whispered into my ear, before softly taking my lips in hers. The kiss became heated quickly and I was wondering whether the desperation I was pouring into it was from wanting her, or from wanting her way of life. I didn't know but either way I needed something to change, and maybe she was the way forward. 

I pulled away and rested my head on hers, both us breathing deeply. "I'm gonna miss you, you know." 

"Don't be sappy," she said with a small chuckle, as I rolled my eyes at her. "But...you know, I might...think of you at Christmas. Who knows." She was spending the festive season with the gang from The Trip, Candy not included, so I knew she was going to have a lot of fun.

I grinned at her. "Translation: you're gonna miss the Hell out of me but you don't want to say it." 

"Keep dreaming," she scoffed loudly, but I couldn't help but notice the slight sadness in her gaze. I tightened my grip around her and she reciprocated immediately. Someone clearly didn't want me to go and that made me very happy, a lot happier than it possibly should've done.