Like A Dark Paradise (A Hazbin Hotel story)

Lifeline

A/N: I spent so much time with this one chapter and I apologize if the smut is dull and boring because I agreed to make the smut at least last 15 pages and that's what I did. Barely. I kept blanking out so much to where I had to stop every so often. 

Anyways, I hope this was worth the wait! I'm probably going to have to take a long break before I do anything else.

~~

You were frozen in place, unable to move from your spot. You had to process the words Alastor has spoken to you. He... wanted to be your reason to live? Why would he even suggest that to you? This must be some sick, twisted joke he's playing on you. It has to be. Alastor would never think to put himself in that kind of position for you.

"If this is one of your sick jokes, then it's not funny," you said accusingly.

"And why would I joke about something like this?" He slowly laced his fingers with yours, softly breathing in your unique scent. "The fact that I've offered to you a small suggestion instead of allowing you to think that you have no purpose here... shouldn't it be more than enough?"

He really doesn't get it, does he? You've already accepted his offer to become his servant in exchange for his protection. Why does he need to become your reason to live on in the everlasting torment of Hell? He had no idea what you've been through and how much you had to sacrifice to get by every single day. It was pure torture, like a chisel chipping away small pieces of your very being until you crumble and break. You couldn't take it anymore. You didn't want to live like this. The only reason you haven't given up on living was that one possible wish to leave Hell and become an angel in Heaven. You've clung onto that dream for so long that no matter how bad things get, you'll always know that you'll become an angel. But now? It just feels... hollow. Empty. Meaningless.

If Alastor understood that, he wouldn't have made an absurd suggestion like that. That's incredibly selfish and inconsiderate of him.

"You should have killed me back then," you muttered in a somber tone.

"Pardon?" Alastor lifted himself off of your back and stared with a questioning look. "You don't really mean that, do you?"

You didn't reply. It was only going to make you cry the more you tried to reason with him.

"(Y/n). Answer me, young lady."

You continued to stay silent despite his demand. It just hurts too much. Suddenly, the tears that you held back for so long began to surface. You held your hands to your chest protectively as you wept.

Alastor was at a loss on what to do. He tried all he could to make you happy. Just enough to make you forget that lucrative dream of yours. He hated seeing you like this, so miserable and depressed. You didn't deserve to be like this; you were so much better than that. You deserved better.

"Alastor?" you called out weakly, wiping the tears from your eyes. "There were so many chances for you to kill me on the spot but you didn't. You knew that I would be too much of a burden for you to take care of and yet..." You mustered up the strength to face him while trying to maintain a straight face. "...you still kept me alive. After all the trouble I caused for you. Why? Why do you bother with someone like me? I'm... I'm nothing special."

You gave out a shaky sigh and smiled at him as best as you could as you wept. "Perhaps...I'm better off dead... than to live in a world where it's every demon for himself. Right...?"

Out of nowhere, you felt a harsh and painful slap that nearly blurred your vision. You were frozen in place, trying to process what happened a second ago. You didn't want to move. More tears fell as you felt the throbbing pain on your cheek. The next thing you knew, you felt your face being yanked towards Alastor, pressing his lips roughly against yours. You had no idea what's going on and you had a hard time keeping up with what's happening. Why is he like this? Why does he care so much about you?