Awakening (Nozel Silva x reader)

Punishment

(Nozel's pov)
         After I left (Y/N) 's room, I went into my father' s office, waiting for him to finish his work, but, when I enter, my father glared at me.

         "Where were you?" he said still looking at me. At that moment, I felt my blood froze in my veins.

         "I...I was walking around the headquarter..."I said with a trembling voice.

        " DON'T LIE TO ME, NOZEL SILVA!! "he said with a high tone." I know that you were at (Y/N)."

        " But..... how? " I said with shock.

        " This is none of your business. Now told me what you did at that girl! "

       " I noticed that the members of your squad didn't let her in the dining room when the meals were served, so I brought her some food. " I said looking down, avoiding eye contact.

       " Brought her food.... Nozel, if you want to become a strong captain, you must stop caring about the others. You will not go too far if you have mercy.....Sigh....You're just like your mother.....weak. I guess I have to punish you for this!"

        "No, father, please don't do this! I won't do this ever again..... I promise!" I said without notice that I was crying.

        "Cry, AGAIN? Didn't I tell you that crying is for the weak ones? You will have to learn how to be strong and the pain will be your teacher." he said and grabbed my hand really hard and took me into the basement, which was soundproof.

        "Father, please, it hurts..." I said and he slammed me on the cold floor.

       "The only way you could learn is with suffer." he said while holding a water whip and then, the nightmare begun.

        All the pain, all the screams and tears I shed was nothing for him. He kept beating me hours without mercy. At that moment, I felt like I was about to die until he stopped. My whole body was red and ached that I couldn't even move. All what I could see was him standing in front of me and then leaving me there.

       "Tomorrow, I will bring you to the hospital and you will say that you got hurt in a mission, understood?"

       "Y.. Yes..... Father..." I said and he left closing the door.

      It was dark and cold. I couldn't see anything. After a coulple of minutes, I managed to get up and sit in a corner. My body trembled because of the cold and fear I had for him. 

        All what I could do was to wrap myself with the robe, but it didn't help to much. I was so exhausted but I couldn't sleep.

        All what I wanted in that moment was to be with my mother. Before she died, she always defended me from my father and told me to be myself, even if my father will not agree. She gave me strengh and protection every day, but, with her gone, I felt weak and depressed.

       That was until..... I met (Y/N). Her beatiful face, her innocent and honest smile made me feel like I could be myself again. I didn't know how can she did that, and then, I remembered something.

(Flashback)

       I was 4 years old and I stood in my mother's arms. At that time, she wasn't pregnant with Nebra.

      "Mommy, daddy yelled at me again and he told me that, if I want to become strong, I don't need friends!" I said while crying and hugging her tightly. She hugged me back and wiped my tears.

       "Nozel, everyone needs friends. It's difficult to find them, but one day, you will meet someone who will be always here for you."

       "Like you?"

       "Yes.....like me."

(End of flashback)

       Maybe she was the one my mother told me. She saved my life and wanted to be my friend. She even hugged me, but I pushed her away like a jerk and that hurted her and me aswell. I knew that she got through a lot to help me and, at that moment, I was like my father, a man without heart. Then I though that I lost her forever, but, fortunately, I didn't and I brough her food. When she was happy, I was happy to.

        But, unfortunately, I couldn't stay with her anymore. I had a program and, if I couldn't respect it, I would be beaten again, or killed. I though that it was the best to keep distance from her. I didn't want to suffer like this anymore, or make her suffer to. At that moment, I though that my father was right, I didn't need friends, not because they would make me weak, but I would make them suffer like I did.

        I though that I had to accept my fate to become like him...and never find happiness.