Dirty Little Flirt (Book 3) The Dirty Little Secrets Series

Chapter Six-Nica

Hello, Lovelies, 

I hope everyone is having a great day!  Thank you for reading Dirty Little Flirt!  I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far.  

News: Above is the cover of the book I'm writing with @Ravenpuffhere.  It is a murder mystery with a bit of dark humor called Pungophobia.  I hope you will check it out.  

Thank you again for checking out this story.  I hope you enjoy this chapter.  If you do, please consider commenting or voting.  

-XXX Amanda 

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I walked into Jay's house, rubbing my arms, shocked that I had told Jay about Johnny when I had been unable to tell anyone else. I glanced around, taking in the familiar house, before turning back to him.

I swallowed, vulnerability sliding through my body, causing me to shake. He frowned, moving toward me, his blue-grey eyes moving over my face.

"Hey." His voice was soft as he reached forward and rubbed my shoulder. "Everything is going to be okay. I promise."

I wanted to believe him but Johnny had broken down my defenses, my dreams and hope. This was my last chance to escape him. If I didn't succeed, I would be under his thumb forever.

"I hope so." My voice trembled through the room. "I know I must seem so weak to you."

He shook his head. "You're brave." He bit his bottom lip, shifting on his feet. "I know what it's like to try to escape from someone and it seem impossible."

His eyes darkened as he glanced away from me, his cheeks tinted red. "What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath, "I feel that since you've divulged your secrets to me, I feel I should divulge one of my secrets to you. It's something I never told anyone."

"You don't have to tell me." I shook my head, hoping he didn't feel obligated to tell me something private because I dumped all of my problems on him.

He gave me a sad smile. "I know I don't have to. You're actually the first person I've wanted to tell. Honestly, I've been terrified to speak a word about it."

"I know that feeling." I stared at him, wondering what could have happened to hurt a strong man like Jay.

He ran his hand through his short, blond hair. His eyes rose to mine. "Maybe that's why I feel like I want to tell you."

I nodded afraid to speak...Afraid what I would say would make him lose his desire to tell me. I knew what it was like to keep a secret that was cutting your soul to pieces. If I could help Jay after all he had done for me, I would.

"When I was sixteen, I had a best friend named, Ainsley. She was like a sister...Nothing more. I trusted her." He stopped, swiping his fingers over his eyes. "One night we were drinking. She took advantage of the situation. I remember telling her no but she didn't stop and we-"

"You don't have to say it." I whispered. "That was rape. You said no. You were drunk."

"I'm a guy. People don't look at it that way." He shifted, his face red. "She pointed that out too when I confronted her the next morning. She was right. No one would see it that way. I told her I never wanted to speak to her again but she was around. She shows up every now and then to see Lena. Lena still doesn't know what happened between us."

I frowned because as bad as it was, he was right. Most people wouldn't view it as rape. I'm sure she took advantage of that.

"Worse, she took my virginity." He shrugged as if trying to relieve some of the sadness and shame but I knew it would always be there.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered

"So, you see, I know what it's like to be vulnerable and feel weak but I want you to know that you aren't." He met my eyes and I could see the pain swirling in them. "Shouldering this responsibility on your own is hard but you've done it. You were strong in silence."

"So were you." I took a deep breath. "But it feels good to have someone be there to help you through it."

He nodded as he blinked. A tear fell down his cheek. I moved forward unable to stop myself as I caressed that tear away. He put his hand over mine, giving me a sad smile.

"It does feel good to have someone know." His bottom lip trembled.

I nodded, deciding that I would be there for Jay just like he was there for me.

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I stared at the ceiling of Lena's old room until I could no longer keep my eyes open, knowing that Johnny would visit me in my dreams. As my eyes closed, my heartrate picked up instead of slowing. My blood pumped through my ears. I could count each beat of my heart as it continued an ominous tempo.

I flinched as I opened my eyes, finding myself standing in the center of my almost threadbare apartment. Even though there was very little to hide behind, Johnny was still able to find a shadow to hide within.

He stepped from the corner, his cold eyes settling on me. A smirk moved over his face as he curled his lip in disgust.

"Did you really think you could just leave?" He asked, his voice as hard as ice.

My body shook because I did think that I would be able to leave and he would never hurt me again. Tears rolled down my face as I faced the man, who I was sure would bring me more pain.

He moved and I was able to see the gun in his holster. My eyes stayed glued to it, unable to look away. Just like I knew he would do, he pulled it from the holster. I stared down the barrel both fearing and wishing for the bullet.

"You'll never escape me." He chuckled as his hand twitched near the trigger. I flinched out of reflex. He did it again, pressing a little harder this time. A whimper moved from my mouth.

"You're such a fun toy to play with." Johnny curled his lip. "But I'm done playing."

The sound of the gun echoed through my apartment. I screamed but the pain never came. Instead, Jay's gentle voice saying my name, moved into my conscious.

I opened my eyes, finding Jay standing above me much like the first night I stayed here. As my heart calmed, Jay sat on the side of the bed.

"You're okay now."

I nodded, but for the first time those words penetrated the fear from the dream. For the first time, I realized it as just a dream because Johnny was in the past. Johnny was no longer part of my reality.