How To Save A Life [A Robert Downey Jr. Fan-Fic]

Chapter 32: Starting Over

The door of our house slowly opened.

Robert paused in the doorframe, motionless, an idle glance.

Silently, I reached out for his hand, biting my lip to force back the tears in my eyes.

She was his chance, his second chance. His way out of the darkness.
But he abandoned her.
Although it was not even her fault. But how was Robert supposed to know? He wouldn't trust Liz even if she told him the truth. And I couldn't tell him. Unfortunately...

He uttered a quiet sigh and ran his fingers through his hair.

Then, within the next second, he clenched his fists and hit the wall, leaving a small hole inside.

Immediately, he held his hand because of the obvious pain he was enduring.

"God, that hurt", he mumbled almost inaudibly as he quickly shut the door behind.

Still holding his hand that was slightly bleeding, he entered the kitchen and poured himself a glass of scotch.

"Stop", I tried to keep him from doing what he was going to do anyway, "Robert, please... Don't!"

He quickly drank his glass down in one just to fill it again as soon as it was empty.

And after the fifth glass, he decided to take the bottle itself. Lurchingly, he walked through the hallway, entering the living room until he collapsed on the couch.

My eyes filled with tears as I saw him like that, reminding me of the darkest time we've been through. His darkest time in our relationship. The time, when alcohol became his closest friend again.

"Kate?", he asked as he slowly approached me in the living room.

Hesitantly, I looked up to him, his puppy eyes regarding me closely as he offered me his hand.

"Come", he encouraged me again as I didn't respond, winking at me with a smile on his lips.

I shook my head.

"I don't want to", I mumbled apathetically, staring at the table in front of me.

"We're not going to discuss that", he countered smirkingly and gently lifted me up.

"No, Robert, please", I begged him as he carried me through the room, "I'm really not in the mood for... Are you going outside? It's raining!"

"I know", he chuckled and opened the door to step outside, raindrops pouring down on us immediately.

"Robert, please", I begged him once more and buried my head in his chest.

"Okay, first of all", he interrupted, placing a soft kiss on my forehead, "When did you start calling me Robert again? I don't like that..."

For a second, we simply looked into each other's eyes, remaining silent as the rain kept falling on our heads.

"Why do you like the rain so much?", I asked then, running my fingers through his wet hair.

He half smiled at me and gently tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"Because then, no one can see the tears I'm crying 'cause they blend in with the rain on my face. Because standing in the rain makes me forget this cruel world we live in and numbs the pain I feel inside. It simply reminds me, I'm not crying alone", he whispered, placing soft kissed on my cheeks, "You can cry outside, darling. But don't let those stupid idiots of paparazzi out there make you feel bad. They don't know what you've been through, what we've been through. And from now on, you can be sure that I'll always be there to protect you."

He pulled my head towards his firmly and kissed me once more.

"Always", he assured me with a welcoming smile on his lips.

"And Kate?", he added quietly, protectively kissing my forehead, "It's okay to be a glowstick- sometimes we need to break before we can shine."

"Robbie, please", I sobbed, tears streaming down my cheeks, "Don't do this to yourself!"

"Why don't you just let everything end right here?", he mumbled apathetically, running his fingers through his hair as he stared at the white ceiling, "This is crap, man!"

He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, as a single tear streamed down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away.

Taking another sip of his bottle, he sighed.

Then, all of sudden, he threw the bottle against the wall where it shattered into a million pieces, leaving a puddle of alcohol on the ground.

For a second, he simply stared at the place where the glass had shattered.

But then he started to laugh, uncontrolledly and obviously really drunk, before he flipped the table.

"Dammit!", he yelled, running his fingers through his hair as he regarded the mess he had made.

My vision already became blurry because of the tears that were about to stream down my cheeks.

But it seemed as if it made him feel better, made him feel relieved.

So, he kept on destroying everything in the room. He flipped the shelf and the vases and picture frames that were placed on it, leaving thousand of broken fragments on the ground.

Hesitantly, I knelt down, closely regarding the picture that was now laying on the ground, showing Robert and me on our wedding day.
A single tear escaped the corner of my eye and fell down on the photo of us where it quickly faded away.

As soon as the whole living room was messed up, he walked into the kitchen where he grabbed every single glass and threw it on the ground, leaving a sea of shards behind.

"Robert", I tried to stop him but he couldn't hear me anyway, "Robert, stop!"

He paused in the desperate need for some oxygen and ran his bleeding fingers through his hair, tears streaming down his face as he slowly slipped to the floor, leaning his back against the wall as he buried his head in his hands.

God, how much I wanted to help him. How much I wanted to hold his hand and tell him everything was going to be alright again. How much I wanted to feel him, kiss him, just to make the pain go away.

Suddenly, he raised his head again. His eyes were now bloodshot.

Then, he quickly jumped up and walked upstairs.

I followed him silently as he entered the roof terrace.

"Robbie, what are you doing?", I wanted to know as he finally paused, slightly leaning over the railing.

He uttered a quiet sigh and for a second, we remained silent, simply enjoying the beautiful view above the city.
The light of the moon brightened the roof terrace we were standing on while thousands of little lights light up the skyline in front of us.

"It's going going to end right here", Robert mumbled almost inaudibly before he eventually climbed over the railing, looking down at the ground that was now far away.

"No, no, no, no, no", was all I could say as I silently watched him sit down, feet draped over the railing, facing the cold concrete ground. His hands yet sticked to the railing.

He enjoyed the soft, yet cold, December breeze that made him shiver immediately before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Twenty one, twenty two...