How To Save A Life [A Robert Downey Jr. Fan-Fic]

Chapter 25: Back To Black

Robert sat down on the black leather couch across from Liz who leaned back in her seat, crossing her legs, her hands folded in her lap.

"Hello Robert", she greeted politely and half smiled at him, her voice soft and welcoming as always, as she tucked a strand behind her ear, "How do you feel today?"

He shrugged and scratched his neck.

"I'm okay", he answered then, "Not worse than before."

She nodded slightly.

"Would you like to talk about anything specific?", she wanted to know.

He shrugged again, avoiding her gaze.

"Everything we talk about is inconvenient", he mumbled sarcastically, "Just go ahead."

She coughed slightly.

"Well", she said then, "There's something we should talk about. Urgently. I think it's the root of your actual condition, Robert."

"As I said, just go ahead", he repeated apathetically.

She swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"Your drinking problem", she continued calmly, "Robert, you're an alcoholic."

He raised his head, regarding her closely.

"Umm", he muttered quietly and ran his fingers through his hair, "I don't have a drinking problem..."

Suspiciously, Liz raised her eyebrows and quickly looked at me for a second before she looked back at Robert.

"Okay, maybe I have a little alcohol problem", he admitted then and crossed his arms, "But it's okay. I can control it."

"That's what you call control?", I asked in surprise, "Robert, you're drinking every evening before you go to bed. You're drinking every morning when you wake up. You're drinking because you think it'll make you feel better. But it doesn't. The truth is, it only makes you feel worse."

I carefully reached out for his hand, gently stroking its' back with my thumb.

Liz regarded us closely, never keeping her eyes off Robert who was nervously moving from the left to the right on the couch.

Suddenly, he chuckled and buried his head in his hands.

"Well, I might have a drinking problem. I've already had some alcohol problems earlier but..."

He took a deep breath as his hands started to shiver again.

"I met Kate in a very dark time of my life", he explained quietly, staring down at the ground, "I was dark. And she helped me. She really helped me getting through those struggles. I know, I'm a very complicated person who's really awkward to handle. But somehow, she managed to deal with me. She reached out for my hand and led me out of the dark. She showed me the beauty of life and how to enjoy it, enjoy the little things... She saved me."

I recognized his eyes had filled with tears in the meantime.

"But now I'm alone again. I fell down into the deep dark hole I've crawled out with her help", he continued after a second, "That darkness, it's still in me. I'm surrounded by the same darkness I've been used to before she brightened my life. Everything is dark and empty without her. And that's the problem. Because when I'm alone, all those bad feelings grow on me. The darkness and the emptiness. The blame and the guilt. And the only way to escape is... To drink. It makes the pain go away. At least for a short time."

A single tear streamed down his cheek but he quickly wiped it away.

"Alcohol doesn't soothe your pain, Robert", Liz said with her welcoming voice, making him feel comfortable again as she moved to the edge of her seat, unfolding her legs again, "Have you ever tried something less detrimental to distract yourself?"