This work is based on the book mo dao zu shi ...the storyline follows Lan Wangji's perspective...please vote and support ☺️☺️☺️ before that most credits belong to the author mo xiang tong xiu and also to the translators....I included many sentences...
My childhood is truly unspoken. I never had a chance to experience the kind of childhood that the kids of my age had experienced. As I grown up with my 3000 family rules, I don't even know what fun is.
It is my duty to follow the sect rules of my sect. My mother always make fun of my cold personality. I don't talk very much and I always keep a poker face. There is nothing I don't have in mind. She always want to see me smile. She always say, "Wangji, you should smile more often and talk with the people who interact with you. Don't be such a fuddy duddy. Look at your brother, he always smile, while you, just like your father." She always teases me. I liked her teasing. It always makes me happy.
My brother always put on a smile on his face everytime when he greets a person. My mother never ask me or my brother what are we learning. But she always kept a bright smile on her face when I read my lessons with my brother. But we could only seen each other monthly because we are busy with our lessons. Shufu told us so.
My father is in seclusion. Ever since I was born, I never seen them communicate each other. They are also staying at separate rooms. As I was very little back then I don't even know what happened between them.
Because father was in seclusion he couldn't look after us. Why is he in seclusion? Shufu was the who raised me and my brother. As he has a very prudent and strict personality, I grown up with his characteristics perhaps more than that. Every month when we get a chance to see mother, I was very thrilled. She too was very happy to see her two sons. I talk so much about our what we have learned and what all advices shufu said to us. Everything was going very smoothly until one day when I was 6 years old. It made me devastated.
Shufu was in a very cold expression but I can see the sadness in his face. He said, "your mother is "gone". You don't need to visit her anymore."
What! Where could she go? I was very small and my innocence didn't understand what the word "gone" means. I was devastated.
It was on a winter evening when I heard the news. There were many people in the ancestral home. Me and my brother didn't understand what was happening. I want to see my mother.
I rushed to the ancestral home. I waited there for the whole night hoping that she would come for me. No one opened. I kneel down on the snowy ground without losing any hope.
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Shufu, xiong Zhang and my fuqin were looking for me and finally found me kneeling on the snowy ground. They felt sorry for me. I want to see my mother so badly. I could see her only a day on each month. Now she is gone somewhere. Where is she? Why did she go without telling me a single word? Mother, please come back.
My shufu and brother carried me back to my bedroom and tuck me on bed. Father's eyes were dull and dry. As I slept I was longing for my mother's presence. To see her, to hear her funny jokes.
The days passed even months had passed. Still can't accept the truth that mother was gone. Every month I visit the ancestral home like I used to be. I know it's useless. But going there makes me feel better. After many years I slowly understand that she will not be back for me. What shufu said the word "gone" means she passed away. But I don't care. I am too stubborn. My mother is there, waiting for me and my brother. Even though she died, She is still a bright light in my heart that made me the one I am. I love you mother and I am missing you so much.
