Bloom and Scatter [Free! Zombie AU]

28 Hours Later - Part 2

Much later, after hours of rest, carefully administered water and a cup of ramen he'd been saving for a special occasion, Makoto seemed to be much better. He seemed more himself. He was still a bit out of sorts, but Rin attributed it to the fatigue. Part of him wanted to wait on Makoto hand and foot but the other part of him kept reminding him of everything he'd been about to do, every decision he'd made and unmade and remade over the course of two days. It was a horrifying thought, to consider who exactly was turning into a monster.

The explanation had been drawn out, each word carefully chosen so Makoto would understand just how difficult it had been for Rin to come to the decision that he had. Through the convulsions, the growling, the muttering, how the question of feral or zombie had dragged on, how Rin had silently tested the elasticity of Makoto's skin when it suddenly occurred to him that his features, though paler, hadn't changed into the sunken-faced, pin-point pupiled look of a feral human nor the white-as-death, bulging nerves, flesh rotting and iris-less look of a zombie. Not after 24 hours since the bite. Not after 40 hours.

Makoto, predictably, listened without a word, a serious look on his exhausted face.

At the end, Rin felt like he had run a marathon. The relief in the air was tentative at best. It was wonderful, of course, that Makoto was still human, that he was no longer bound and awaiting death. But Makoto had mentioned, time and again, that the virus constantly evolved, became stronger. The screecher and spewer were proof. The added complication of the fog meant that this whole thing was anybody's game. Makoto could still turn at any moment; it was entirely possible that his adaptation to the fog was slowing down the turning process simply because he already had zombie cells making nice with his insides. Rin wished to hell and back that they had a scientist on the team. Was coming back to Japan worth all this?

A touch on his wrist made him look up from where he had been holding his head in his hands.

"Are you all right?" Makoto asked, gently.

He wasn't going to cry.

"I nearly killed you," and damn it all, he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes already, "Twice. I promised you I'd kill you before you ever turned, so that you could die human, I—"

Rin's voice cracked and, at the slightly concerned look on Makoto's face, he surged forwards and threw his arms around Makoto's neck, hugging him tightly and burying his face in his shoulder.

"What if I'd ignored you?" Rin's voice was thick with emotion, "What if I'd gone ahead without listening to you, killed you the moment you'd been bit? I would have... I would have murdered you. You'd have been immune and no one would ever have known; you'd never have turned into a zombie and you'd be dead, and that would have been my fault. I would have been the reason your family would be missing a big brother. I... I nearly killed my friend."

Makoto slowly wrapped his arms around Rin and stroked the back of his head gently, "You didn't, though. You let me live."

"By a margin, every time...!" Rin was hiccoughing now, "If you hadn't made me promise... If I hadn't lost my courage... I could have killed you, I could have... I wanted to, even despite the promise. I was going to."

"But you didn't," Makoto's voice shook too, "Your instincts were right, Rin. You should have, that was the smart thing to do, but I... I'm such a coward. I was so afraid. And things turned out all right, didn't it? Things..."

Rin was well known as a crybaby, even amongst their group of friends, but this was the first time he'd held a distraught Makoto in his arms who was breaking down. Rin felt his own tears subside as he soothed Makoto, who was clinging to him like his life depended on it. All the stress and frustration had built up to this point. Rin only just realised how terrifying it must have been to be in Makoto's shoes, waiting for your friend to kill you. Waiting to turn into something that would hurt everything you held dear.