Call Me Dirty Minded

29. That is Zit!

"Yeah! Sorry, just uh... you know, sh*t just got real!" I didn't really know what to say. My dad chuckled in response as I heard his footsteps distant away.

I stare tremoring at the ghastly thing on my friggen cheek. Big as a pea, big as a bee, big as a coin or money, big as a flee, big as my mother fu- flubba doodle knee!

*Resume to non-swearing*

I felt like a chicken nugget. A fu- chicken nugget.

It looked like Mount Everest or the Eiffel Tower screaming "Look at me, I'm f*cking huge! Woo!"

Or bimbo's in corners like, "I'm a slut, f*ck me! Woo!"

I slapped it constantly thinking it would somehow disappear or shrink, but sadly, no positive result.

So yeah I was freaking out, I've never had any form of pimples in my life! And because of the one damn time I wear make-up, I end up looking like I have another planet on my face.

F*cking great.

*Now resumed to ACTUAL non-swearing*

I need to hide, completely become invisible. Where can I purchase a Harry Potter invisibility cloak? Or some powers of becoming invisible? Do they have it available in Ebay or some unknown but only known to secretive witchy people in stores normally located in the corner of some downtown dodgy area?

Please contact me if you know the answers to any of these, much appreciation.

I open my cabinet and pull out one of those circular Band-Aids and promptly put it on the zit area. If anyone asks, I walked into a sharp thing that made a sharp hole in my cheek. Ahem, Yeap.

I couldn't even enjoy the aftermath of a good date even though I don't remember getting home. In all truth, I'm going to go ahead with the devouring his face because I was still hungry theory.

I groan zombie walking to my table filled with useless perfumes and very useful deodorants. I shuffle through my draws to find any of the gifted make-up I haven't used to cover this monster up.

Scuffling through the draw I come across zero substance of my skin tone, amazeberries.

I body slam my bed to get my phone. I quickly dial up Brookie's number in emergency.

"What up Bambi?" Brooklyn's usual skimpy voice presents.

"I'm in a crisis!" I shout a little too loud.

"Woah Bambi! Hold on, what's going on? Is it a boy one? If so, just drop down in your panties and everything will be settle-"

"No! Not a boy crisis and really Brook? Drop down to the panties?" I lightly chuckle but still in a worried justice.

"Sorry sorry! What crisis woman!" Brooklyn shouts, fear in her voice.

Hearing her voice anxious began making me feel even more frightful of this significant zit. So I replied in a jumble of words. "IkindaofgotareallyhugezitthatlookslikeavolcanoandIneedyourhelp"

"Slow the f*ck down woman! Repeat with breaths between each word"

I breathed in a little, "I kind of got a really huge zit that looks like a volcano and I need your help".

"Oh My God! You realize that's worse than boy's crisis! Why didn't you call the police huh? Or the emergency? Or firefight-"

"Brooklyn! Just help me!" I groan, face palming my-

Eww! I touched my zit! Ew, ew, ew, ew.

"I'll be there in 5 with my tools! Do not move! Do not show anyone, do not even say hi, just wait till I'm there!" And with that, she hung up. I rolled back on my bed and sighed, never have I ever thought this day would come.