Strings Attached

Finding out

Camila's POV

I stared at my phone screen, wondering why Shawn hasn't texted me back for four days straight.

'Maybe he regrets that night,' I thought with a gulp.

I bit my nail and let out a short huff.

Did he really regret the night?

A lump started forming in my throat, as I tried not to think too much of it.

Maybe he's just really busy with the album?

But honestly, it didn't seem so. Even in the worst of the arguments, we would at least text each once, whether it was just a simple goodnight text.

But I haven't heard from him since well, that night, and honestly, it freaked me out.

I didn't want to seem overdramatic or anything of the sorts, but... it was unusual. And maybe it wouldn't be so bizarre if it wasn't the fact that we slept together when we agreed to just be friends. Usually, when something like that happens, people talk it out, deciding what they'd do, but it almost seemed like Shawn was avoiding talking to me and it hurt, hurt more than even loving him unrequitedly.

I dropped my phone onto my lap for a moment, resting my head against the large cushions on my couch, closing my eyes and taking in deep breaths.

'It's probably not that big,' I said to myself. 'It's just his album. Maybe he's busy with some new lyrics or producing a new song already.'

"That's all," I whispered to myself, this time aloud. "He's my best friend, if he truly had a problem with us sleeping together and was truly bothered by it, then he'd tell me, wouldn't he? He's just... That night probably wasn't even that special, what with the other nights we've had with more risqué moves."

Taking in a stuttering breath, I grabbed my phone from my lap and decided that I would let go from obsessing so much about texting.

Suddenly, I felt my phone buzz quite a bit and I realized that it was because I was getting tagged in this particular photo, which was slightly alarming.

I knitted my eyebrows together and pressed on the notification, which lead me over to the post, which was actually posted by... Shawn, himself.

But that wasn't even the most surprising part.

No, what was surprising was that the picture he posted was of him and a blonde girl—which upon further look, I regarded her to be Hailey Baldwin— kissing, with their hands clasped tightly together, and the caption just said "Mine ❤️".

I dropped my phone, as it landed on my lap again. My whole body frozen except for my trembling bottom lip.

At that moment, it felt as though someone ripped my heart out and crushed it to pieces, even trampled over it a couple of times before handing it back to me.

But it just felt empty.

It was a weird emotion. To feel your heart break but there weren't any feelings to fumble with.

But then there were tears, first flooding and welling up my eyes, then sliding down my face gradually.

Slowly, my breathing started getting heavier and every insecurity I had about myself became threefold.

"Fuck," I whispered hoarsely, pulling my legs up to my chest and resting my head on my knee.

I wanted to be upset about it, I did. I felt like crying and bawling until I couldn't anymore, but I...

He was never mine to begin with, so what gave me the right to even be devastated about something I never had?

Glancing back at the picture, my fists clenched and I swallowed hard.

Was this why he hadn't texted me yet? Was he that preoccupied with her so not to even see the texts I sent him or even contact me in days?

Was I just not that important to him anymore?

For some reason, that thought scared me the most out of all. For years, we've been the closest friends imaginable, even had a complicated relationship, and he was that one guy who was always there for me. He's that one guy who loves me, even if it is in a platonic way, and cares for me, and he's the most important guy in my life other than my father. And I thought that maybe I was the most important woman after his mother and sister, because he certainly made me feel so... but I suppose not.

I closed my eyes, rested my head against the sofa, trying to stop the incoming tears because this isn't what I needed.

I needed to get my mind off of Shawn.

I need to officially get over him.