Strings Attached

No more

I took a deep breath, trying to race my beating heart.

I had to do this.

I couldn't do it anymore. And I had to tell him that.

I didn't know when it happened, but I wanted more. I'd always told myself that I was fine with our deal, but I wasn't anymore.

I wanted to be more than "friends with benefits" with Shawn.

I was so far past that label of ours, I could even see my future with him. With us waking up together, kisses and I love you's ensuing on.

I didn't want to be just friends, with the satisfaction of doing stuff to each other. I wanted more, and I felt selfish for saying that.

I loved him a lot, and I'd wait a long while for him, but not if it turns to no avail. My heart couldn't take that anymore, and I had to do this... for myself.

I took another deep breath, before finally raising my hand up to knock on his door.

After a few minutes passed by and the door was yet to be opened, I knocked again, this time more desperately.

I was almost about to turn around and leave when I heard the door creak open, so I turned around and raised an eyebrow when I saw Shawn standing there with an annoyed expression.

But as soon as his eyes landed on my, he visibly brightened and he let out a small smile, "Camila, hi!"

"Are you okay?" Was the first thing I asked because I noticed he looked really stressed out.

"Yeah, I just... the album is taking a toll on me," Shawn sighed, rubbing some sleep from his eyes. "Anyways, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I..." I trailed off, almost backing off now. He looked really distressed and I was worried that it would add onto his tense self. But then I decided that he shouldn't be that worried because it's just sex and not our friendship. "To put it simply," I coughed, blinking a couple of times, as Shawn raised an eyebrow. "I can't do it anymore."

"Do what?" Shawn asked, confusion settling into his face. "If you mean by the guitar lessons that I've tried to help you with, we can sto—"

"No, it's not that," I whispered, gulping down the weight on my chest. "I can't... I can't do... us anymore."

"What do you mean?" Shawn asked, his eyebrows furrowing. My heart melted at how adorable he looked, but I had to tell this to him.

"Our deal? The one with just sex and no feelings?" I asked, as he reluctantly nodded. "Well, I can't do it anymore."

Shawn stared at me, and I honestly couldn't decipher the look on his face. It was almost a mixture of confusion, surprise, and... a bit of sadness? I wasn't sure.

I squirmed in my spot, waiting for Shawn to say something... anything, but he hadn't for a few minutes.

"Okay," he finally whispered under his breath, and I realized that he took all that time to just process what I had said. Then, he looked straight into my eyes and asked, "Why?"

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him that it's because I've fallen deeply in love with him because that'd ruin our friendship.

So I just said the first thing on my mind. Well, more like the first person on my mind. "Alessandro."

The realization filled his eyes, and I gulped at the fact that he actually believed my lie. "Oh," he coughed before straightening up. "Are we... still friends?"

He looked so vulnerable and I couldn't understand why, but my heart did break at that. I bit my lip and looked at him, before pushing myself forward and wrapping my arms around him, bringing him into a hug. "We'll always be friends," I whispered, hugging him tighter, before pulling back.

My eyes averted from his eyes to his lips, before fluttering my eyes closed, as I leaned in to press a kiss in his lips.

One last kiss.