30 | In a while crocodile

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Wishing you godspeed, gloryThere will be mountains you won't moveStill I'll always be there for you

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

Wishing you godspeed, glory
There will be mountains you won't move
Still I'll always be there for you

✂︎------------------------

1 DAY, 1 day left until I never step foot in Redwood Academy, prestigious high school ever again. 0 Days if you count today, Friday. More specifically, 1 hour. Today was a half-day, as it was also the last day before Redwood students got winter break.

And as I stood in the hallway, shoving the random shit that sat in my near-empty locker into my backpack, I had a few minutes to myself to think about some things.

Those things being what the fuck comes next? Sure I go to the new boarding school, but then what? Do I have to forget about everyone I met here? Forget about my old life completely and press the restart button, again. Is this really the end? I walk to lunch, spend 30 minutes at a table with people I'd have to leave behind, and then walk to the library where I'd spend the 30 minutes of free period trying to stop Savien from crying.

A common occurance that's been happening almost every time she's seen me the past week.

I never ended up going to Sonny's party. Even after telling my parents it was a friends piano recidal and I promised I'd show up, they still wouldn't even let me leave my room. Seriously. They locked my door and turned on the alarm so there was no hope of sneaking out though the window. I felt like fucking repunzal. Swiping through Snapchat stories of videos of the party before letting my phone die and laying tiredlessly in bed until I fell asleep.

During school, I've been trying to distance myself from everyone without walking away completely. It's been hard enough doing that, and even harder when half of them are in my classes. But today is the last day, so it doesn't exactly matter if I distance myself or not, I wouldn't be seeing them again. In person, at least.

I felt guilty. Because I wish I cared more. I think I'd been so used to forgetting people and leaving people behind, that relocating once again wasn't affecting me as much. Also because I've been doing nothing but preparing for this feeling and the moment I'd have to walk away.

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