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36:>>

My words floated in the air before it reached him, and when it did it struck him big time. Natulala sya at halos hindi makapagsalita. Ilang beses nyang ibinuka ang bibig nya para makapagsalita pero walang boses na lumalabas doon.

"Let's break up. Wala ng patutunguhan ang relasyon natin, Tristan. It's not healthy anymore. It's harming the both of us." Paliwanag ko.

Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya, pinapanuod ang halo-halong emosyong naglalaro sa mukha nya. He looks to be in pain-in so much pain. But here I am just looking at him, feeling nothing-I am numb. And for once I want to feel, I want to know what he's feeling. I want to share his pain, but I can't. I'm numb.

"W-why?" His voice is hoarse na para bang pinipigilan nya ang sarili nyang umiyak.

"It's not working anymore, Tristan. It won't work anymore." Simpleng paliwanag ko.

Hindi sya makapagsalita. Pilit syang naghahanap ng mga salita pero wala syang makuha.

"I'll just keep hurting you if we'll continue, just like how I hurt you in the past few days. I know Tristan. Hindi din ako manhid at hindi din ako bulag, alam ko na nahihirapan ka, alam ko na nasasaktan ka. At ayaw kitang masaktan. Ayaw na kitang saktan. At ito lang ang tanging paraan para matigil na ang pananakit ko sayo."

"NO! Don't say that. Jer, nagmamakaawa ako sayo, kung ayaw mo talaga akong saktan wag mong gawin to, wag kang makipaghiwalay. Hindi ko kaya ng wala ka. I don't know how to live without you. I love you way too much that I think I'll just die if one day I'll wake up without you in my life anymore. Jer, please, bawiin mo. Bawiin mo ang sinabi mo." He begged and right now he didn't bother to stop his tears from flowing.

I want to be sad. I want to cry. I want to feel my heart break into a million pieces right now. But even seeing his tears flow desperately from his eyes can't bring back my senses. I can't feel anything, I feel numb. And I feel cruel from being numb while Tristan is desperately crying for me.

Looking at him and myself para lang akong nanunuod ng teleserye sa TV-nalulungkot pero walang magawa. Dahil gaya ng panunuod sa TV kahit gusto mong gawin ng bida ang isang bagay wala kang magawa dahil hindi mo yun ma-control-parang ako, hindi ko din ma-control ang sarili ko. Na parang may ibang taong gumagawa nito at hindi ako.

"What do you want me to do? Tell me. I'll do it. Do you want me begging on your knees? I'll do it." And without further ado, he fell on his knees tears flowing in his eyes. "Don't leave me, Jer. Don't break up with me. Ano bang problema? Nakukulangan ka ba? Ano bang gusto mo? Sabihin mo, ibibigay ko. I'll give you the world, just stay with me, Jer."

I looked at him my eyes misty from unshed tears. Naawa ako sa kanya... Pero wala akong maramdamang personal sa kanya. Hindi ko makapa ang pagmamahal na matagal ko ng ipinaglalaban, ang sakit na matagal ko ng dinaramdam, at ang pighati ng pakikipaghiwalay sa kanya. Wala akong maramdaman, kung hindi awa sa kanya.