Broken (AU Calum Hood Fanfiction)

LX

Calum's POV:

Judging by Ashton's attitude over the phone, I expect Jackie's mood to be sour when she gets back. I wouldn't blame her, it sounded like a mess.

I thought about screaming into his ear through the phone, thought about driving over there when he hung up on me. But I didn't. Because I know he'd never hurt her. And I know that this was something that she had to do on her own.

"I'm here." I hear following a slam of the front door.

"How'd it go?" I ask her, looking down at my phone.

"Well, I'm on suspension." she laughs weakly, "But I think it'll be alright." I'm surprised when I look up from my phone because she doesn't seem mad or upset, just tired and worn out. But her eyes are puffy so I know she's been crying. I guess she got her explanation and I guess it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"Told you." I mutter.

"I brought food." she tosses a fortune cookie at me.

"Panda Express?" I ask, looking over to the plastic bags on the dining table.

"Only the best." she shrugs her shoulders once and smiles but I can see that she's just trying to diminish her post-sobbing state.

"I love you." I say out of the blue.

"Why? 'Cause I brought you food?" she grins, "Because, I mean, if you brought me food I'd probably love you, too. But here's the funny thing," she continues with raised eyebrows, "I think I already love you." Another smile moves across her face, a more genuine one that threatens to meet her eyes.

"So why was he so pissy when I called?" I ask her, trying to ease into asking her what he said that made her eyes so bloodshot.

She shakes her head, "Um, he's not all too happy about us." she gestures between our bodies, her expression growing more serious with each millisecond, "Still." she adds.

"Why?"

"He thinks you're gonna hurt me."

"I'm not gonna - " I start to console her, start to put Ashton's fears or worries that he may have projected onto her to rest, but she cuts me off.

"So let me ask you. I'll only ask once, I promise." she inhales and her stare meet mine. Her blue eyes begging for me to tell her what I know she needs to hear, what I want to tell her, "Are you going to hurt me?"

"No." I tell her with nothing but confidence in my tone. I have no reason to, no desire to, no plans to, and absolutely no willingness to hurt her in any way whatsoever.

"Okay." she nods and bites her lip, "I believe you."

"Are you going to hurt me?" I ask, vulnerability tinging my tone despite my attempt at hiding it.

"I couldn't even if I wanted to." her crimson lips part slightly as she inhales, "And here's the thing - if we don't at least try how are we ever going to know? And if we're worried about whether or not we're going to get hurt then we're not going to try. So we'll see what happens and we'll hope that in the end we're not completely broken human beings." she pauses and inhales again as if she can't get enough air, "Right?"

For the umpteenth time I'm amazed by her unfaltering faith in our relationship. Amazed by her willingness to trust, to love, to live without fears or apprehensions. Amazed by her.

"Exactly right." I breathe, eyes trained on her.

"You okay?" her nose scrunches with concern.

"Mm-hmm." I smile weakly, trying to hide my exhaustion as I rub the back of my neck.