Broken (AU Calum Hood Fanfiction)

XV

Jackie's POV:

I wake up panting and sweating at 3:00am.

My heart's pounding and my anxiety's sky high so I know I won't be able to fall back asleep anytime soon. Nightmares are a fairly regular thing for me, but I usually get up and do homework, which I really don't want to do right now.

I decide to go get a glass of water and end up walking like a ninja, cringing at the cupboards squeaking with each one I open in my expedition to find a glass. I finally find one and prance over to the sink.

I must look ridiculous.

"Damn it." I whisper to myself, realizing that the faucet will make noise too.

I try to turn it on slowly and quietly but I guess I wasn't slow or quiet enough.

"Hey." I hear a voice that I immediately recognize to be Calum's say from behind me.

"I couldn't sleep and I got thirsty, sorry." I say without turning around as I shut off the water.

I leave out the part about having nightmares.

"Want some?" he asks, holding out a tub of ice cream across the breakfast bar. I nod and take the spoon from him, scooping some into my mouth.

"Why are you awake?" I ask him through a mouthful of ice cream.

He shrugs, locking eyes with me "I'm just worried about you, I guess."

"You don't need to worry about me, Cal. I've made it this far." I say but in reality my heart melts at his concern for me.

I move to put my now empty water glass in the sink.

When I turn around he's stalking around the bar and towards me. I'm amazed by how coordinated he is at 3:00am.

"I'm allowed to worry about you Jackie. Are you okay?" he asks and I nod but my watery eyes betray me as a tear streaks my face. I've been crying a constant and slow cry the entire night. I hate feeling weak like this.

I don't think he'll never know how much it means to me that he's here, doing this for me.

His hand stretches out to wipe the renegade tear from my cheek and I fight the urge to pull away and run because I'm afraid of getting attached.

The reality is that I want to get attached.

So I let myself.

I fall into his chest and hug him tightly as I quietly sob. One of his hands comes up to my lower back and he slowly rubs circles in an attempt to soothe me while he brings his other hand to my hair, stroking it gently.

"Come back to bed with me. I don't want to be alone." I say almost inaudibly into his chest.

"Okay." he says and starts to move, but I'm not ready to move yet and my body is heavy with emotional exhaustion.

"Tired?" he asks and I nod "But I'm terrified." I say as I look up at him.

"Don't be. I'm here." he says and grabs my hand, pulling me behind him.

I don't think he understands what I mean by being terrified. He probably thinks I'm talking about my dad. He'd be right, but I'm also terrified of this - him and me. That I'm going to get attached then be abandoned.

He starts down the hall but instead of going to the guest room, he goes to his room.

He leads me to the bed and I immediately snuggle under the blankets, making it obvious to him that we're going to sleep together, nothing more.