Broken (AU Calum Hood Fanfiction)

XXXV

Calum's POV:

I can tell she's nervous. Her hands started shaking even before she seen this house that holds such darkness for her. It kills me to see her like this.

It killed me to see the look on her face when she seen the picture on my phone earlier, too. Guilt and regret and pain all took their turns displaying themselves via her blue eyes that I've grown so fond of.

I'm snapped back to the present by Jackie telling me to have a seat at the table where her mum and brother are sat.

"Hi, honey." her mum says with a weak smile.

"Hi." Jackie mutters, picking at her fingernails.

"I'm Kat," she says, extending her hand to me, "I don't think we've met."

"Yes, you have. You were just too high to remember." Jackie interjects angrily. I realize that I'd be pissed, too if I were Jackie. I wouldn't be willing to give Kat another chance either. I would distance myself from her as much as I could and never look back. I wonder why Jackie hasn't left yet, I also wonder if I have something to do with that. I hope I do.

"I'm Calum, Jackie's boyfriend." I say, shaking her mum's hand before resting my hand on Jackie's thigh under the table, my thumb rubbing circles gently onto the denim of her jeans.

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend." she smiles artificially at Jackie.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, mom." Jackie shoots back with raised eyebrows and burning eyes.

"I've been going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings." Kat says.

Jackie scoffs, "Have you now?"

Her mom nods in response and Tyler just slumps back into the dining chair. Him and I exchange a look, we both know what's coming, we also both know there's nothing we can do to stop them.

"Well, that would've been a damn good idea when me and him," she gestures over to Tyler, "were left to fend for ourselves now wouldn't it've been, mommy dearest?"

"Jackie, I - " her brother tries to interrupt but she silences him with her hand and a look that could kill.

"Look, I get why you acted the way you did. I get why you did the things you did. I get why you went fucking crazy. I get it." she pauses and stands from the table, pressing one hand flat to the surface and leaning over her mum, "But one of your kids died that day. Not all three. We needed you and you weren't there. You were never there."

Jackie lifts her hand from the table to tuck a piece of her fringe behind her ear and her mum flinches.

"You see what he did to you? What he did to us? What you let him do to us?" Jackie adds quietly, shaking her head slowly. I watch her brown hair sway from side to side ever so gently and marvel at how beautiful she looks even without trying, how beautiful she is even when she's angry.

"I know. I have no excuse. You're right. I'm sorry, I really am. Nothing I do can ever make up for it, but please believe me when I tell you how sorry I am." her mum says with watery eyes.

"You're right. Nothing you do can ever make up for it." Jackie huffs, sitting back down.

"I never meant to hurt you." her mum adds.

"Yeah, sure." Jackie scoffs at her.

I don't know what to do right now. Should I let them talk to one another like this? Should I let them talk alone? Should I suggest that we leave?

"I'm sorry that I blamed you." her mum squeaks unevenly.

"Why?" Jackie asks with narrowed eyes, "Why now? Because dad's dead? Do you feel some weird sense of freedom that you didn't feel before? Because nothing, and I mean nothing you say or do can take back all of the shit that you let him say and do to us before he died."