One Night Mistake [ON HOLD]

Thirteen

CHAPTER 13

“What do you mean you’re getting married? Nababaliw ka na ba Scar? Yan ba ang nangyayari kapag brokenhearted?”

Confusion and disbelief is evident on Grace’s face. Para bang sinabi ko na nakakakita ako ng multo o na nakakabasa ako ng isip. Nakagat ko ang labi ko. I’m really nervous sa kalalabasan nitong pag-uusap namin. Pero sooner or later, kailangan ko rin sabihin sa kanya ang sitwasyon ko. It’s best that I tell her now, habang maaga pa.

“I’m not going crazy, Grace. I’m really getting married.”

“How? Don’t tell me nagkabalikan kayo ni Troy?!” nanlaki ang mga mata niya.

Umiling ako. “No! Hindi mangyayari yon!” I exclaimed. “Remember when I went clubbing on Lissa’s birthday?” humina ang boses ko.

Tumango siya, naguguluhan pa rin.

“Well...I kind of messed up...” pinaglaruan ko ang mga daliri ko. Humugot muna ako ng hininga bago nagpatuloy. “I.. I met a stranger and got drunk. And then we...we did it. At buntis ako. He offered me marriage and I accepted it.”

There. I dropped the bomb.

Admitting everything to Grace made me tear up slightly. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang magiging reaksyon niya. Sigurado akong sasama ang loob niya dahil matagal kong tinago sakanya ito. Hindi ko naman intensyon na itago sakanya ang nangyari sakin ng gabing yon pero nahihiya lang talaga ako sa sarili ko. Basta-basta ko nalang ibinigay ang sarili ko sa lalaking hindi ko naman kilala. I just can’t believe I let that happen to myself. At hindi ko naman akalain na magbubunga pala ang gabing yon.

Umawang ang bibig niya. Her eyes turned glassy.

“P-Pregnant?” Bumaba ang tingin niya sa impis kong tiyan. Hindi pa halata na buntis ako dahil isang buwan pa lang naman mahigit ang tiyan ko.

I nodded, nervously biting my lip. “I’m sorry I only told you now. Hindi ko naman akalain na magbubunga ang gabing yon o na magkikita pa kami ulit. I’m really sorry.”

Ilang minuto siyang hindi kumikibo at mukhang pinoproseso pa ang sinabi ko. I waited anxiously for her response. I prepared myself for the worst. Paano kong nag-iba na ang tingin niya sa akin? Paano kung nandidiri na siya sa akin?

My throat hurt from suppressing my tears as I waited for her to say something. Sa bawat segundong lumilipas na hindi siya nagsasalita ay mas lalong nadadagdagan ang kaba ko at ang mga masasamang bagay na naiisip ko.

“I hate you,” nagulat ako ng bigla niya akong hinigit palapit sakanya at niyakap ng mahigpit. I closed my eyes and let my tears shed freely. 

“Akala ko ba bestfriends at bestcousins tayo? Bakit mo nilihim sakin?” her voice cracked. “You know I couldn’t judge you easily Scar. Magkasama na tayo bata pa lang tayo at kilala kita. I would always try to understand you. How could you forget that?” may hinanakit niyang sabi.

Mas lalo akong naiyak. I feel guilty. Paano ko naisip na magiging iba ang tingin niya sa akin? She is my bestfriend and we treat each other as siblings. Kung may tao mang handang umintindi at tumanggap sakin, siya yon. 

How could I doubt her?

“I’m sorry, Gracey. I was just so ashamed of myself at natatakot ako sa magiging reaksyon mo. Sorry I misjudged you.” I tightened my hug. “Will you forgive me?”

She sniffed. Bahagya niyang hinila ang dulo ng buhok ko.

Binitawan niya ako at saka umirap. “Swerte ka talaga paborito kita, kung hindi nakooo...”

I chuckled while wiping my tears. “Okay na tayo ha? Kung hindi, ‘di ka magiging ninang.” biro ko bago hinaplos ang tiyan ko.

“Subukan mo lang Scarlett, kakalbuhin talaga kita.” Pinandilatan niya ako ng mata. “Pero teka nga, sigurado ka na ba talaga sa desisyon mo? Magpapakasal ka talaga sa ama ng batang yan? Hindi ba masyadong mabilis ang lahat? Kaka-break niyo lang ni Troy.” bigla siyang sumeryoso.

I nodded. “I already thought about it many times, Gracey. And I realized I don’t want to deprive my child of a complete family when I can give him one. Of all people alam ko kung ano ang pakiramdam ng walang magulang although andyan naman si tita at tito para alagaan ako. At isa pa, his daddy loves him and he’s willing to take responsibility. I won’t strip him of his right to be a father.”

A smile played on my lips when I thought of Luke. Naalala ko kasi ang nakasimangot na mukha nito kanina nang sabihin kong wag na niya akong ihatid sa apartment kasi nandito pa si Grace. He was annoyed as hell.

Grace sighed and held my hand.

“So you’re just marrying each other because of the baby? What about you Scar? Are you willing to stay in a loveless marriage?” her eyes were laced with concern.

“I guess wala ka talagang hindi kayang gawin para sa anak mo.” I gave her a tight smile and squeezed her hand. I want to assure her that I’m making the right decision.

“Hindi basta-basta ang pagpapakasal Scarlett, I hope you know that. Ika nga nila hindi yan mainit na kanin na kapag sinubo mo at napaso ka ay pwede mong iluwa. You’re bound to each other forever. Are you really sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him? With a man you barely know?”

“Alam ko ang pinapasok ko Grace, and I’ve already decided. I will marry him. ” I said with conviction.

She hesitated for a moment, unconvinced, but after a while she nodded in resignation.

“I trust your decision. If you think marrying him is the best for you and your baby then, I will support you. Basta kung ano mang mangyari, nandito lang ako ha?” she assured me.

“Thank you Grace, for always supporting me. It means a lot to me. You’re really the best.” I smiled at her gratefully.

Sumandal ako sa balikat niya at saka pumikit. Ipinatong niya ang baba niya sa ulo ko.

“Wala yon, ikaw pa.” she muttered. “Anyway, kailan mo balak sabihin kina mommy at daddy?”

Napamulat ako ng mata. The thought of telling tita and tito about my situation terrifies me. Madali lang natanggap ni Grace ang sitwasyon ko but I doubt if the same would apply to her parents. They might actually disown me. The thought alone is like knife stuck on my chest.

“Tingin mo magagalit sila sakin?” I asked quietly.

“Normal lang naman siguro na magalit sila, they treated you as their own daughter. Siguradong masasaktan at madi-disappoint sila kapag nalaman nilang nabuntis ka ng lalaking ni hindi mo boyfriend. Pero alam kong tulad ko, hindi ka rin nila matitiis kaya wag kang matakot.” she consoled me.

The thought of seeing disappointment on tita and tito’s face pained me. They have such high regards for me at ito lang ang isusukli ko sa kanila. Maiintindihan ko kung hindi kaagad nila matatanggap ang sitwasyon ko. But whatever their reaction is, I’ll accept it. Ako din naman ang may kasalanan.

“I’ll pay them a visit this weekend.” I decided.

Bahala na kung ano ang mangyari.

Sandaling namayani sa amin ang katahimikan. Pareho kaming okupado ang isip kakaisip sa mga bagay-bagay.

“Scar...” Grace said cautiously after a long comfortable silence.

“Hmm?”

She turned to look at me. Seryoso ang tingin niya. Bigla akong kinabahan.

“Ikaw ba... naka move-on na kay Troy?” she drawled carefully.

Napakurap ako sa tanong niya. I was caught off guard. Hindi ko inaasahan ang naging tanong niya. Hindi ako kaagad nakasagot dahil maski sa sarili ko hindi din ako sigurado.

Naka move on na nga ba ako? Nakalimutan ko na nga ba siya?