have it all (l.h)

"you ready for this?"

"I did have to do this, Em. I haven't stopped thinking about you since you told me." Emma finally invited me in and I walked into the familiar apartment that I hadn't seen in the last couple of months. I could tell she had moved a couple of things around and she had a few new decorations up, but it was all very Emma.

"I'm sorry if I look so shit," Emma apologized as we walked through her place. "Ashton actually left about thirty minutes ago... we're sort of in a fight, I guess. He doesn't think I'm taking this thing seriously—like, he thinks I don't get that the possibility of me being pregnant is serious." I could tell Emma had been crying and it broke my heart.

"Why would he think that?" I asked, almost upset with Ashton as I imagined him making this harder for Emma.

"Because he constantly wants to talk about it, and it's the last thing I want to talk about while I'm still ignorant, I guess? I know I should be more productive and just get it figured out, but I'm so fucking scared, Josie." Emma's voice faltered and she began to tear up as she spoke. "Me getting pregnant isn't a huge deal—I mean, I've always wanted kids, but not like this. I don't want to suddenly be known as the girl who got knocked up by Ashton Irwin... and I don't want this to completely ruin things between us." She sighed deeply and I could tell she was trying to keep herself from crying. "It's so unclear what he would want to do if I really were pregnant, which freaks me out. But even if he wanted to stick around, he's going to be gone on tour—his life doesn't give grace to this kind of thing. God, I barely know him."

"Hey, hey," I shushed Emma as she began to freak out and she let out a sob as she became frustrated. Both with herself and the situation at hand. "Give yourself some grace right now, okay? Things are unclear and uncertain right now... don't freak yourself out over things you can't answer yet." Emma nodded slowly as she focused on her breathing. I pulled her over to her couch and sat her down before sitting down beside her.

"I just don't ever want to do this alone and every time he brings it up, I'm scared he's gonna tell me he doesn't want any part of it. That's why I freak out and just stop all conversation about it, but then he gets mad which makes me more worried about him giving up on me." I bit my lip gently and placed my hand on Emma's knee as I got an idea.

"How about you invite him back over here? Tell him that I bought some tests and that you want to get this thing figured out. Things are going to be okay, I promise. I can be here to respectively mediate, if I need to." Emma bit her lip as tears started to brim her eyes again, but she nodded.

"I want him to know I'm taking it seriously."

"I know you do. Tell him to get his ass over here." Emma called Ashton and stood up as she began talking to him. She walked out of the room and I took the time to send Luke a text, telling him I'd be delayed for an unknown amount of time, but that I'd text him whenever I was on my way. He replied almost immediately and told me to take my time and that he was excited to see me. His response caused me to smile and I laughed quietly at myself for being so easy to please.

"Jo! Can you come in here?" I got up and followed Emma's voice to her bedroom. "He's on his way. Can we hang out in here?"

"Of course." Emma was sitting on her bed, so I took a seat beside her. I took her hand in mine and she smiled at me before placing her head on my shoulder.

"I seriously can't thank you enough for this, Jo." I sent her a smile before moving to be at an angle, so that I could see her better. "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner... I guess part of me thinks that the more people that know, the more real it becomes."