Hidden glances

9. I know a place

Liv woke to a text from Fitz.

Fitz: hey, can we talk? Maybe I could collect you after work?

She replied leaving him know that sounded good, and that she was finished at 4. She felt anxious thinking about seeing him, along with many other emotions. Excitement resulting in guilt seemed to be most prominent. But she got up anyway and got ready for work.

Work dragged on, much as she had expected it would. The more she allowed herself to think about what could possibly be said this evening, just made the minutes feel like hours. She hated waiting. More than anything. She left before Abby woke this morning for the sole reason of avoiding talking about this more. She didn't know when she became this person, all she knew was that she wasn't proud of it. So when 4 rolled around, she took a sigh as she put on her coat. Saying goodbye to Carol and putting some folders into her bag. And then she was walking out the door. And there he was in. In his jeep. She silently told herself off for allowing her heart to jump when she saw him, looking down at his phone. Then watching as a small smile took over his face, as he spotted her.

"Hey." She said softly, sitting in to the passenger seat. Ignoring the overwhelming scent of him, his aftershave and gel smelling like heaven. She shivered. "Hey." He said back. She looked so beautiful, in her baby pink coat, her hair pulled into a sleek low ponytail. God she never failed to amaze him. "How are you?" He eventually asked. "I'm okay, you?" She asked. Finding it difficult not to replay last night, especially when his eyes were looking at her like that. "I'm good." He smiled. She nodded. "I have so much to say Fitz." She sighed. "I know I do too." He knew it was coming. "Where can we talk, properly?" She asked, looking back to her work, and at all the people passing by. It wasn't a conversation you have with an audience. "I know a place." He said simply, starting the engine. They drove for a little bit in comfortable silence, before pulling into an empty large parking lot. In front of an old shut down 70s diner. "That's awesome." She said looking towards it. "It's pretty cool, my dad taught me to drive in this lot." He laughed lightly. "I come here sometimes when I miss him." He added. She didn't know his father had passed, she placed her hand on his. She felt so touched that he brought her here. "Thought this would be a good place to talk. It's always very quiet here, empty." He said. "Yeah it's perfect." She nodded. "I'm sorry about your dad."

"It's okay. He passed 5 years ago. Car crash." He explained, she held his hand now. He inhaled at the contact. "I'm so sorry Fitz." She said sadly. "Oh it's fine, he had a great life. I'm fine really." He smiled. She softly smiled back. "Talk." He laughed lightly. "About last night." She added. "Oh really? I thought we were discussing movies?" He teased, making her roll her eyes. She was glad he lightened the atmosphere. He tended to do that well.

They both sat in silence, gazing at one another, waiting for the other to start. "It can't happen again." She said first. "I won't be the other woman Fitz. I'm not a home wrecker exchanging hidden glances with a married man." She shook her head. "Liv. My home was wrecked a long time before you, you didn't do that, don't put that on yourself. It's not fair to you."

"Still. It's wrong and I feel awful about it. She's the mother of your kids Fitz." She added quietly. "But I'm going to leave her, and you're not the only reason before you try and talk me out of it. Either way this day was coming, and of course I'm not going to just spring it on her. My kids deserve two happy parents and they're getting older now, and they can see we are not happy. I'd rather them have two happy homes than one sad one." He explained. "And I don't want to scare you, I'm not acting crazy or expecting anything from you, I'm just telling you the situation. This was going to happen no matter what."
She sat studying him. She couldn't help but feel relief. She knew that was so awful. But she did. He would be available. That seemed insane to her. "Are you sure Fitz, it's not something you decide lightly, I mean there's counselling and other things you could try." She suggested.