Hidden glances

8. I'm so screwed

Olivia looked at herself in the mirror. Last night playing over and over on a loop as she finished her light makeup. She couldn't believe what they admitted to one another, and she had no idea how today was going to play out after it. How was she supposed to look at Mellie after all this. She felt like her head was going to explode. But at least she felt cute. Dressed in a white floral dress that fell mid thigh.

"You ready Liv?" Abby popped her head around the door. "Yeah." She smiled, following her best friend out the door.
Olivia didn't say much as Abby drove. Abby of course noticed. "Okay." She said, pulling in at the side of the road. "What are you doing Abby?!"
"We are going to talk. You are going to tell me what's been up with you. I'm your best friend Liv, you can tell me anything, keeping whatever this is to yourself isn't a good idea. Let me help you?" Abby said.

"I can't Abby. And I don't want to lie to you. So please don't ask me again." She looked out the window, avoiding every contact. "No I'm not accepting that. Tell me."
"Abby please." She sighed. "We don't do this Liv. We don't hide things. Whatever it is...-" she stopped mid sentence. She studied Olivia's face, Liv looked at her confusingly, then she continued. "It's him isn't it." Abby said quietly. Olivia didn't say anything and that was all she had to do for Abby to know she was right. "Liv? What happened?" She asked softer this time. "Please don't beat around the bush. Just talk to me. It's me."

"What do you think Abby. But it doesn't matter, because he's married. So no matter what I say, that won't change. So we're wasting time even talking about it." She said. "Did you sleep with him?" Abby asked. Liv looked at her stupidly. "Of course I didn't sleep with him." Abby felt for her best friend, she knew this must not be easy. "Does he know you feel like this?" Abby asked. Liv just nodded. "When did this all happen? I have so many questions Olivia, explain what's going on. Then I can try help you."

Olivia looked at her. She knew Abby wasn't going to drive until she spoke. She felt it would help saying it aloud anyway, so she went for it. "There was this thing between us since day one, I mean of course there was, who was I kidding when I was denying it." She shook her head, referring to Abby bringing it up always and Liv shutting it down. "There's these moments when we are alone that made me realise he feels like this too, but neither of us ever acknowledged it of course. Then the day at his office, something changed, it was more obvious, I can't explain it, there was just a moment, nothing happened, just the way he was looking at me, god Abby I felt like I couldn't breathe." She finally looked to Abby again. Abby could see how Olivia's eyes glossed over. She wished the the circumstances were different for them. It was no surprise to Abby that Fitz had feelings for Olivia, she would have bet money on that from the beginning, but she was a little surprised to hear Olivia say it out loud. "And what happened after that?" Abby asked.

"We had a really awkward drive home, and we didn't talk for a few days. Until last night. I'm sure you saw we didn't talk for most of the night, then he asked could we talk. So we went and talked." Liv shrugged. "I know you're not going to stop before you tell me what was said." Abby said. Liv smiled, Abby never failed to make her smile. "He apologised for being distant, because he got scared. Scared by what he felt. And I basically said the same. Then I said it was wrong, and so unfair to Mellie. So now I think we just are going to pretend that never happened." She laughed lightly, because if she didn't laugh, she was going to cry, and that wasn't an option right now. "Liv, I'm sorry. You two are crazy about each other, it's so obvious." Abby shook her head. "Did he say anything about Mellie?" Abby asked.

"At the office he told me they don't get along, they're just together for the kid's. They haven't been good in years." Liv said. "Isn't that a good thing?"
"No Abby. Like I said, he has two kids he needs to put first. I wouldn't expect anything less of him." She sadly said. "But enough talk about this for now, we're late, let's just go."