I study rainbows

And I don't regret it

*TK POV*

*flashback*

It was getting late why was Alex taking this long? I usually take longer than him to do everything , and why is he late? He's never late.. Should I just back out of this while I'm ahead and this just be a regular dinner? No f*ck that , I love him, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. No way I'm backing out of this. "Stand your ground baby , you can do this" I said to myself.

*10 minutes pass*

I start to get worried being he's now 20 minutes late. I pull out my phone to call him when I see valet taking his car away. I relax and lean back into my seat, rolling my head to relieve the built up tension in my shoulders. You got this baby. This is supposed to be one of the most memorable moments of my life why am I so stressed? Whatever it's game time.

When he gets closer to the table I stand to hug and kiss him as a greeting, boy did I miss him today. His cologne making me feel at ease, reminded of home. The home we built within each other or so I thought.

We both took a seat, I love this man so much I thought. I must have looked so starry eyed, I was so out of it. " You look amazing as always tonight Alex" He just stared at me. I raised my eyebrow ,silently asking what he is thinking, " Did you already start drinking?" He said , d*mn maybe I was a little out of it. "No why would you say that?" incredulously I asked. He just shook his head not wanting to elaborate on this topic instead he changed the subject. "Isn't this kind of fancy Tk? I mean we could have just gotten burgers." Where is my boyfriend of 5 years who has always begged me to give him the finer things in life ? Is this not good enough for him?

I just shook my head laughing it off not wanting to ruin this night. When the waiter came back , we ordered and he left once again , I reached into my pants pocket and felt the ring, making me less nervous when our deserts were cleared away.

This is it I thought, I moved to the side of the table preparing to give my heartfelt speech. But when I went to get up Alex said he had to talk to me about something. I waived the waiter over giving cash and telling him the rest was a tip.

Alex was very curt and blunt and most times he would say things without having any emotion attached to them, I told him how much that would hurt sometimes when were arguing but he never got the memo of it so I just let it go.

Times like this , I shouldn't have expected him to wear kid gloves with me. Yet and still I didn't expect him to be as blunt as he did. He said it like my heart didn't stop and shatter in my chest! I knew we were growing distant but this engagement was supposed to bring us back together because I knew he was my one. I was wrong. Was I ever right about him though? I can't even remember the last time he said he loved me back or made me coffee in the morning .He always left before me being a lawyer.

In an instant everything was over. " TK I've been meaning to tell you this for a couple months now, I've been seeing my cycle instructor Ryan. I'm not in love with you anymore , I don't think I ever was honestly. I hope life treats you well, you deserve to be with someone who doesn't have to be fake happy-"

When the tears filled my eyes I blinked them away , my pride was already broken but I won't let it shatter. Not in front of him anyway. I can hold it together until I'm back at ou- my apartment. I got up after he said he was faking being happy with me. I didn't want to hear anymore. I couldn't take anymore or I would fall apart in this expensive a*s restaurant. I called valet and asked him to step on it while getting my car. He saw me tapping my foot and my red eyes and he got the motto.