CLOSED FOR CATCH UP
Ever wanted to know what your reader's feelings about your books?
Ever looked for ways to improve your writing?
Is your title eye-catching?
Does your first chapter pique the writer's interest?
Does your story keep the reader h...
When I opened your book details and read the blurb, I was very impressed. I liked how it seeded so many questions inside a reader's mind.
Why is he provocative? Why doesn't he have any morals?
What's his job? Why should he resist?
What's his deal?
Later, when I was done with the first ten chapters and re-read the blurb, ( I do have that habit) I realized, how at that time the blurb didn't seem half as impressive and alluring as it had seemed before.
I wondered and decided that maybe it was because I had read the book, and had more information and because I could at least answer two of the many questions that the blurb had first posed me with.
I wasn't satisfied with my conclusion.
I think, your blurb is missing something. Your story is amazing booklored, I have fallen in love! But your blurb looks a bit distorted and prejudiced, deceptive even.
When I read your book, and then later tried to associate it with the blurb, I could do so for only forty percent. I read once in a writing blog somewhere, that your blurb should introduce your book theme to the readers. Your blurb made me think that the story was about a reckless delinquent, who was still in the closet, trying as hard as he could to not show his feelings.
While this is twenty percent true to Xavier's personality, it is not the most accurate revelation. I mean there is so much more brewing in the background, you could have your readers so much more intrigued with just a bit more, implicit insight into Xavier's life.
And of course, you put through a point with his equivocal "job". Yet, something was missing.
I had an idea, maybe you could introduce S.B. Harber in your blurb. Most of the things you said in your blurb were true for S.B Harber and not Xavier himself, (you have no idea how much I had to resist including Xavier's last name here. Because it's meant to be elusive for starting readers, but I love using full names!)
Anyway, I digress. So yes, you could do that, don't mention who S.B Harber is, or how he and Xavier are related, but yet connect both their characters in such a way, that makes your blurb exponentially intriguing and stay true to your storyline.
You can be very creative here. And when readers read the book and finally know who SB is in the second chapter, I think that would be an amazing shocker.
Title wise:
Girl! I have a weak spot for eponymous title names! Oliver Twist, Jane Eyre, Robinson Crusoe, Emma, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson. . . Okay I'll stop!
Anyway, I loved the title! It's great.
Cover wise:
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