Sidnaaz: Indifference

Indifference Part two: 2

Light went out indicating housemates to take their well needed rest. Sidharth and Sana knew that this is going to be one of the longest night for them.

As everyone went to their beds, Sana and Paras are left alone in Jail. For first time, Sana was actually feeling really awkward with Paras. They kept quiet for 15 minutes and both know that they are not sleeping any time soon.

Suddenly, Paras decided to talk to her and asked, “tujhe neend nahi aa rahi kya.”

Sana replied, “are yaar woh jo andar hai na uski yaad aa rahi hai”

Paras actually was feeling a little sorry for her. He knows that she actually like Sidharth and she only uses him for game. He also used her for the game. Right now he has no energy to play games, “koi naa 2 din ki baat hai.”

Sana didn’t say anything but just gave him a smile. Sana then had an idea, this is a best time to talk and clear all the misunderstanding with Paras. She want to let him know that she have no feeling towards him and has no problem with Mahira as well.

“sun Paras mujhe tere se kuch clear karna hai. Jo bhi humare beeck fight hoti hai mein chati hoon ki solve jaye.” Sana said.

Paras was confused hearing that and asked her what she wants to clear.
“dekh meine jo bhi bola I love you wala aur attachment wala. Mostly it was for the game. Aur sachi baat hai ki meine puri life Punjabi logon ke saath kam kiya hai. Na hi meri English na hi meri Hindi achi hai. Mein isliye tere saath starting mein confortable feel karti thi. Kyun ki tu Punjabi hai bus. Mera tere liye iss se Jayda kuch nahi hai tere saath” Sana explained.

“Sana ku jo bhi hai achi tarah bola kar phir. Sabke samne tu mujhse attachment attachment bolti hai tohlog kya samje ge” Paras replied.

“yaar meine bola meri words ki problem hai. Kuch bhi nikal jata hai mere muh se. mein bas yeh clear karna chati hoon ki mujhe na ho tere se koi feelings hai.” Sana thought about correct words and continued, “Bas who tere Punjabi hone se connection tha. Aur Mahira aur tere relationship se bhi koi lena dena nahi hai”

Paras argued, “jitna tu uske saath larti hai problem toh hai tujhe. Hum dono teri team ke saath hai lekin tu hi koh flip marti rehti hai”

Sana sat on her bed facing Paras as she want the next thing to be very clear between them, “Meine yeh nahi kaha ki mujhe tum dono se problem nahi hai. Tum dono kaisi game khelte ho mujhe pata hai. Mein tujhe bas yeh batana chahti hoon ki meri- tere aur Mahira ke saath fight toh hogi future mein bhi.  Bas yeh bolna chahti hoon ki usme yeh mat bolna ki mein tere aur Mahira ke relationship se jealous hoon aur phir mein tere liye kuch feel karti hoon is liye tum dono se fight karti hoon”

She continued, “mere liye bas Sidharth important hai that’s it. Woh mujhe tere naam se taunt marta rehta hai is liye mein tere se yeh baat kar rahi hoon”

Paras for now agreed with her and joked, “acha theek hai. Wese tujhe lagta hai ki so raha hoga woh tere bine”

Sana laughed and said, “arree isi baat ki ho toh tension hai. Kal pura din tere naam ke taunt marega. Siyaapa hai yeh”

Paras laughed as Sana mention Mahira further in her talk, “Aur uper se teri wali bhi kal ko mujhe nahi chodegi. Dekh abhi se plan banate hai kal ko humei kya karna hoga ki woh saant rahe”

Paras kept laughing and said, “acha theek hai. Kya plan hai tere pass”

Sana said excitedly, “kal hum ek dusre baat nahi karenge, tere corner or mera corner alag alag.”

Paras said, “Pagal Hai Sana”

Sana: “kitna acha idea hai yaar. Mere wala bhi happy aur teri wali bhi. "

Sana laughed and they came close to each and Hi-fived. 

Paras joked not realizing that someone hear else heard his next words: “vaise Sana mujhe teri attachment se koi problem nahi. Mujhe bhi tere se wohi attachment hai. Punjabiyaan di attachment"

Inside the house, Sidharth can only picture Paras and Sana alone outside. They have full opportunity to bond with each other. He never felt so helpless. He kept tossing and turning for couple of hours and decided he needs to go and check what is happening outside. He decided to pretend he is going for smoke. “Mein jaldi se dekh kar aa jaonga ki woh theek hai bahar. Saala nahi toh neend hi nahi aayegi.”

Sidharth came outside saw them from living room door at exact time when Sana and Paras were laughing and seemed like they were having time of their life. Sidharth felt so devastated, here he was so worried and couldn’t even sleep and there Shehnaaz is laughing with one people she have “attachement” with and Paras also confessed. With that thought Sidharth angrily went back to his bed. “if she wants to be with that loser. He will not stop her. Jaane se pehle bol kar toh gayi thi …mein teri hu Sidharth…meri hai my foot” with that thought in his mind Sidharth went feel asleep. 

Next morning when music started, before anyone else Mahira came outside. She went straight to Paras. Shehnaaz went to wash room. By the time she came back outside she can see all housemates were scattered outside. She was looking for Sidharth but he was still inside. This is very different situation usually Sana can pacify him until he gives in but here she can’t just do whatever she like. She decided to just wait for him. She kept herself distracted by talking to others.

Sidharth came outside and sat on the corner near Mahira, Arti, Shefali were sitting with Paras. Sana until now was sitting with Rashmi and Asim on one corner but now that he was here she wanted to talk with him. She tried to make an eye contact with him but he was purposely ignoring her. She didn’t want to go towards him and she was scared that he might reject her in front of everyone.

As the day went by, Sana’s mood was going down. Sidharth not even once came to her. She even called him once or twice but he didn’t listen. She was expecting his usual taunting and maybe even some jokes but this is worse. She knows that somewhere it was her mistake, she shouldn’t have said ‘I love you’ to Paras in that task. She signed and asked Arti if she can go in ask Sidharth to come and talk to her, “Usse bolna ki Sana ne apni kasam di hai”

Finally Sidharth came sat next to Sana on ground so they can talk to each other properly.

Sana: “Sidharth kya problem hai tujhe. Baat kyun nahi kar raha”

Sid: “abhi toh tujhe mil gya hai tera Paras. Baat kar uske saath. Jitni karni hai”

Sana: “sidharth mein tujhe kitni baar yeh bolun ki mein tere saath hoon”

Sid: “hain dikhta hai. Aur mujhe koi farak nahi parta. You do whatever you want to do. Uske saath has khel. I don’t give a shit. Main yehi bolne ke liye yahan aya hoon. Mujhe kya lena dena teri uske liye feeling hai mein iss baat mein kyun parun.”

Sana: “sidharth nahi hai uske liye kuch bhi feelings”

Sid: “I don’t trust you baby”

With that Sidharth leaves Sana sitting there. Sana glanced towards other side of the jail where Mahira and Paras are sitting together closely and talking to each other. Just for second, Sana actually felt jealous of their relationship. She is not sure about Paras and Mahira’s relationship status but she wished Sidharth and she could have it easy as well even just for a moment. No insecurities, no worries.

Two days went by, Sidharth kept himself away from Shehnaaz. Only talked with her whenever everyone was there. Even when Both Sana and Paras came outside of the jail, he kept himself away. He was not angry at her anymore but just wanted to stay as far away before his feeling towards her grow any stronger.

Sana also didn’t know how to start a conversation with him. It was like there is an invisible wall in between them. She mustered a courage and decided to go and lay next to him on their bed.
She laid next to him and tried to hold his hand.

Sid: “Sana I am changing my bed. Mujhe tere se baat nahi karni. Mujhe teri jaisi larki nahi chahiye apni life mein. Mujhe nahi rehna tere touch mein aur na hi baat karni hai tere se”

With that he leaves her sitting there and thought to herself. “Sidharth tu naraz hai mere se. is liye mein tere se fight nahi karungi. Agar hum dono hi ek dusre se naraz ho kar baith gaye, toh manayega kaun.”

Chal beta Sana teyaar ho ja iss kharoos ko manane ke liye.