There is blood on the floor when i am home alone

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Be aware! This chapter contents a lot of bad stuff. If you are suicidal or something, I say you shouldn't read this chapter. It will be a lot of cutting and suicidal stuff in this story, but I will always say if it contents anything of that before you can read it.


*same day*
I came home, and as expected, I was home alone. I took off my shoes and jacket, went inside my room, and opened my drawer. I took my razor, and went inside the bathroom, locking the door so no one could interrupt me. I tore it to my skin, deeper and deeper. I deserve this. I feel so sorry for myself with no reason. Everyone would be happy if I turned out dead. I got no friends I will lose. I only have a family that hates me. Why should I be here? It will make no difference if I am here or not. Who would cry? I guess nobody. They say that it's on the inside that matters, but what if the inside isn't pretty either? I stopped feeling pain. I can't even cry. The cuts got even deeper. It didn't hurt. Not anymore. Words hurt much more than this. The blood got spilled on the floor. I tear came out. It's not crying. It only one tear. I looked in the mirror. Everything was destroyed. My black hair was tighten up in my face, and my purple-ish eyes is not normal, my nose is too small, and my mouth is only a line. Nothing was pretty. If you saw my face, you would puke. I was done trying. I will not try to fit in anymore. I will be myself, and get bullied so much as I can handle. My bruises from earlier today hurt a lot actually. I ignored it, but it hurts. Maybe a rib is broken? I don't know. I stopped cutting my hand, moved to my legs. My big thighs. Ugly feet. Ugly face. Fat. Just ugly and fat. That's me. I stopped. My phone was calling. I took it. It was mom. "Hey honey, I got a message from school. You had a fight and went home? What happened?" Her soft voice made me feel a little okay. I didn't want to tell her the truth, so I lied. "He was mean to me. He wanted my body, you know, and then suddenly I was in a fight. We sit next to each other in the class so I went home because i would rather die than sit next to him," and she fell for it. Then we ended the call, and I looked at myself. What have I done? I cleaned up, went to my room changing clothes. Long sleeves. Just as nothing had happened.


I am in such a writing mood right now, so another update. It will contain a little of this, so be careful. Please leave a comment on what you liked and what I can do better. <3

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