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Red roses with blood

11 1 0

Contains cutting

I skipped Wednesday, because of Charlie, but then I came back. Back to hell.
I went into the classroom, finding my seat. Lucas was also there. On his seat. He had a bouquet of flowers. He turned to me, and stretched his hands against me. "This are for you," he said shy. "I don't want roses unless the thorns can hurt me," I said as I sat down. "Can't you just take them?" He asked, followed by my question 'where should I put it?' And I said that to him. "In the locker?" I took the roses and went to my locker. I unlocked it, and a letter felt to the floor. I put the flowers in, and picked up the letter. I read it for myself. 'I am really sorry for what I did. I know I confused you and went to fast. Can you forgive me? -Lucas,' it said. I looked at it for a while.

Two guys came towards me. Greg and Evan. Greg was the biggest one, and they both wear caps all the time. They used to bully me all the time. I haven't seen them in a while actually. Greg took a grip on my t-shirt, and pulled me into the locker. The letter fell out of my hand, and Evan picked it up. "What is this? A love letter?" He said. He read it out loud, and I could see in the corner of my eye, that Lucas came into the hallway. He noticed me. "So, do you forgive him?" Evan asked me, and both of them looked at me, hoping for something good. If I said yes, they would mock me. But no, I don't know. I haven't found out yet. But Lucas could hear what I was going to say. And I said it. "No." I could see the disappointment in Lucas' eyes, and the two boys wondering what to say. Greg punched me in the face and walked. Evan followed after him.

I tried to talk to Lucas, but he ignored me. What a son of a bitch. Even though I was the bitch. I said I didn't forgive him. I said that. I actually said that. What a horrible person I am. That's the reason I don't have friends.

Then the day ended, and I started going home. And when I came home, I did the same I always did. The razor blades was on the shelf in my bedroom. I have a lot of them. Everywhere. This time I didn't go inside at the bathroom. I just stayed at my bedroom. Today I took the legs. I actually wanted blood. I wanted to see it. And I deserve this pain. I have done so many horrible things. No one likes me, not even my family. I went deeper and deeper. It hurt a little more and more. I still had the flowers, and I spilled blood on them. But you can't see it because they are red.
Would I ever stop doing this?
Would I survive?


Sorry, I think this one is short. I don't have so much time now because of school. I will try writing some more. Please comment and recommend to a friend <33

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