Escape || an LGBT+ story (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 4

Standing in front of my closet, I tell myself to wear something I feel comfortable in, one of my oversized T-shirts and khaki shorts or something, but for some reason I end up wearing the shortest and most girlish shorts in my closet and a normal-sized pink T-shirt with a rose on it. I couldn't possibly find more feminine clothes in my closet. And I even put more effort in my hair than I usually do. Well, at least I'm still wearing my binder. I don't even have bras anymore.

Jake and I have talked a lot, last week. He's actually way more funny than I thought he would be. His crazy pick-up lines and naughty remarks made me laugh quite often. He asked me to come over this friday, to which I agreed, of course. I mean, even though I agreed with myself a few years ago to distance from Joshua, I am lowkey curious as to where he lives. Also, I only see him once a month lately. When he turned 18 he moved out and didn't have to go to church anymore, but out of respect for his parents -to be honest I do not know what exactly it is that he respects about him since they treated him like s***- he comes home once a month for a weekend so I see him in church only then. Sometimes I see him if I'm with Jamie, though.

When our moms became friends, I started to become real clingy, intrigued by his silent and unapproachable demeanor and naively determined to make him open up to me, just like I had opened up to him.

Meanwhile, he would just nod whenever I was talking to him, looking backwards I can't even tell whether he actually heard what I said or not. He never replied to anything I said except for monosyllabic answers.

It took me so long to realize that he wasn't interested in my stories, neither would I get him to open himself up to me this way. I was just deceiving myself. Even though I scored high in school at the age of fourteen, my social intelligence wasn't that high. My logic was: the reason that he's always quiet must be because he has a lot of secrets. Maybe one of those secrets being his feelings for me.

What I did not think about: how probable is it that a seventeen-year-old boy likes a fourteen-year-old emotionally unstable "girl" in an identity crisis? Aside from the age gap, which is huge at that age, our personalities were so incompatible, that it's a good thing that it never went any further than my childish rants.

But sadly, the feelings are still stuck with me.

I snap out of my thoughts and walk downstairs, where I put on my shoes.

'Where are you going?' my mom asks.

'Going out with Jamie.' I lie.

'Well, well. And you're all dolled up for that? I haven't seen you wearing these shorts for a long time, I didn't even know you had them. Why, do you like him?'

'Bye, mom!' I say, hurrying away to avoid any more questions. Please, Jamie? Jamie likes masculine guys. And I like Joshua.

The way my mom still thinks Jamie is straight, and the way she still thinks I'm a girl, oh my god, it's hilarious.

I go by bike to the bus station, and then take the bus to Miami. It actually isn't that far from my house. But to travel this everyday for university is a bit too much, even my mom agrees.

Thirty minutes later I arrive at the flat. Jake is outside, leaning against the wall, a cigarette between his fingers. 'Hey.' I greet him.

His eyes scan my body and he smiles. 'Hi babe, you look good tonight.'

I instantly remember why I prefer chatting.

'You smoke?' I ask, to avoid his comment.

'Yes, but I can stop for you.' he says, dropping the cigarette on the floor and extinguishing it. 'Joshua doesn't want me to smoke upstairs so I decided to wait for you here.'

'You should stop for yourself.' I say.

'Sure, I will.' Jake hooks his thumbs in his pockets. 'Let's go.'

I follow him to the elevator, where he pushes the button to the fifth floor.

When he opens the door to the shared apartment, I can't connect the room to Joshua at all. It's modern, with black and white patterns and a black and white photo of a sunset at the over one wall. There's quite some room, there are two black leather sofas, a flat screen TV and a glass table with five bar stools around it. Everything is neatly arranged and beautifully aesthetic.

I can tell that this is not Joshua's room, since when I saw his room once, it was a huge mess with no order whatsoever. Judging of the boys, I think it's either Mike or Nick.

Joshua is sitting in the corner of the couch, Nick sits in the middle and Mike is reading a newspaper on the other couch, his feet resting on the -glass- lounge table. Nick is watching TV and Joshua is just staring at his phone with a look of pure boredom on his face. Ian isn't there.

'Hi boys, look whom I've got here.' Jake says, grabbing their attention.

'Oh hey Jay!' Nick gets of the couch and walks over. 'You're here already?'

'As you can see.' I grin at the sociable Nick. 'That's a nice apartment you guys have.'

Mike looks up from his newspaper, simultaneously with Joshua turning his head and looking at me. Our gazes meet, but he diverts his' and just stares at nothing in particular.

Mike lays down his newspaper and greets me with a "hi".

After glancing at Jake and raising his eyebrows, in response to which Jake tightens his grip on my shoulder, he says: 'I'll have to excuse myself though, something came up at my job.' And he leaves.

'Oh, bye!' Why was he reading the newspaper so relaxedly just now?

'Where is Ian?' I ask.

'Rehearsing, he has a concert tomorrow.' says Jake.

'Ah yeah, he plays guitar.' I remember.

Nick is the next one to excuse himself. 'I can't be there tonight either, Joshua and I have to go to the bar soon. '

'Liar.' Joshua says, continuing his aggressive staring contest with the black wall. 'Sarah works tonight, not me.'

'Sarah can't work, so I promised you would replace her.' Nick explains.

'Yeah, you can't just stay home and let all these customers stand in the cold.' Jake adds.

'Okay, let me call Sarah.' Joshua takes his phone and unlocks it, but Nick quickly snatches it away from him. 'No! Sarah's mother is in the hospital, you can't bother her with something this trivial.'

'Sarah's mother passed away years ago.' Joshua deadpans.

'Her mother figure.' Nick said. 'The one who took care of her. Sarah is really stressed.' Nick signs something at Joshua, but I can't really understand what he is trying to say, so I'm just standing there, until an idea pops in my head.

'Can't we just go to the bar altogether?'

Three pairs of eyes look at me, speechless.

'Okay, dumb idea.' I apologize.

'No no no, let's do that.' Jake says quickly.

'Perfect idea!' Nick says.

Am I seeing things or is that a smile on Joshua's face?

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Word count: 1244

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Sarah doesn't have a mom, oop-