The Underbosses Psychiatrist (M/M)

03 - Chapter Three - Zev Martin's Point Of View.

Sitting on the couch beside Alexi, I took a deep breath and spoke softly.

"Alexi, I need to know that happened to you so I can help."
"And what the fuck makes you think I need help!" He snapped angrily not getting off the couch, not leaving, just yelling. I didn't say a word, I let him have his outburst, about half a minute later, he spoke.
"Don't answer that."
"I wasn't going too."
"What do you get out of this deal?"
"Besides the normal payment for treating people nothing, there's not a bonus at the end of this if I "fix" you."
"Why are you helping me then?"
"One, Maddox demanded I do it. Two, I've noticed your mental state, I want to help you."
"If I refuse?"
"Then that is your deal and that's up to you to talk to Maddox about."
"Fine."
"Fine?"
"I will do this."
"Good, Im glad."
"Im not doing this for anyone but myself."
"That's how it has to be. You need to do it for yourself."

Alexi pulled his hand through his dark brown hair, his green eyes didn't hide his feelings of anger and I was pretty good at reading people, I had to be. Turning sideways on the couch I crossed my legs and faced him.

"Alexi, Please start at your childhood and tell me your earliest memory, if that is too painful then give me another memory from childhood, I want as many details and feelings as possible."
"Ok."

Alexi turned his body slightly to face me. He clenched together in his lap. He was already so distressed and he hadn't even spoken yet. I wanted to tell him to move to a different memory but he spoke.

"My earliest memory is from when I was eight. My mother left me with my father, Darius. My father was a nasty and cruel man. He didn't have a nice bone in his fucking body. He worked for my uncle and Maddox's father. Today he was home, which at this time wasn't normal. I didn't think anything of it, I was looked after by a few different wives when my father wasn't home, so it wasn't like I was alone all the time. I had grown to expect his hard love. He set his gun on the table and made me take it apart and put it back together in the time frame he set, each time I got faster he would knock time off the clock and every time I would fail the beat the clock he would beat me. It started with a slap to my hands but as time progressed he would get worse."
"How did this make you feel?"

Alexi looked at me with unbridled anger, before he toned back the way he glared at me.

"It made me feel worthless and unwanted."
"Why?"
"I tried so hard to make my father see I was better then he thought I was and every time he punished me harder than the last time."

"Tell me about the worst time he hurt you if that's too much---"
"I was sixteen. He was going to take me on the job with him after he trained me that long he deemed me to be ready and I thought I had been. I was instructed to put down a man who snitched on my father for another crime. I couldn't pull the trigger and a man of my fathers died after the man fought back, My father broke my shoulder and wrist."
"Again, How did that make you feel?"
"Angry, so very angry about what was done to me. I wasn't my fault I couldn't pull the trigger, the refection of myself in the man's eyes made me hesitate."
"That isn't your fault at all, you weren't able to pull the trigger then, what changed?"
"The anger inside me changed after I met Maddox, He was seventeen and being trained by his father also. He didn't hesitate when it came to pulling the trigger. The difference was Maddox had seen death before and I hadn't, not until my father tried to deliver me to death."
"What did your father do to you, Alexi?"
"The night of Maddox's eighteenth birthday my father was unhappy with how a job went after Maddox interveined in a deal and got better terms then my father had been able too. He was blinded with anger and he took it out on me."

Alexi slipped off the suit jack he was wearing and rolled up his sleeves, the number of slashes on his arms looked like he had been nearly butchered. He rolled them back down and spoke.

"I spent three months recovering from the slashes on my arms. In that time My father had betrayed Maddox's father's trust. My father was shot by Maddox's father. Instead of feeling relieved, I was angry. I had lost my chance to make him pay for everything he had done to me."
"Where does Andrei fall into this picture."
"After the death of my father I didn't have anyone else and Maddox's father and Maddox took interest in me, My uncle was tasked with making sure I was further trained so Maddox would have an underboss close to his age. My uncle wasn't as bad as my father but he didn't see my father as I did and he preached about my father being a great man and a wonderful father. I knew differently, As did Maddox at that point after his father forced a confession out of me about the horrors my father did to me. When my uncle wasn't training me with weapons, He was teaching me about being an underboss per Maddox's father's request."
"Did he ever hurt you?"
"Oh absolutely. never physically, however, only emotionally."
"You hate him for this reason?"
"I would slit his throat given the chance that Maddox wouldn't beat the everloving shit out of me."
"How did you get the job you did?"
"One night my uncle had come back to his area and he was livid, his records of the money being spent didn't add up and he could put it all together to understand what was going on. Turns out numbers is where I excelled. I was able to pinpoint exactly what was being spent where and what was being skimmed off the books without his knowledge this got Maddox's attention After he got the position he immediately gave me control over the finances and told me to make a system I could work with."
"That only soured things between my uncle and me until he went to jail."
"How did that sour things?"
"His constant overspending and misuse of money, His shitty way of keeping records. It all added up over time until it got like this."
"I see, Your uncle didn't like that you could tell him what to do."
"I would assume so."
"How do you feel now?"
"Angry, Annoyed, stressed out, Tired. The list goes on."
"That's good, you need to address your feelings, It will help, trust me. Ignoring the constant feelings will only add to your stress. Once in awhile just address your current feelings, and for fuck sakes Alexi take a nap once and a while. Your dark circles are darker than ever."
"Can I go now?"
"Yes. but in a week you will be back here."
"We will see."

He walked to the door hand on the knob before turning around and frowning.

"Tell Jackson he is over fucking budget again."