Thantophobia

Chapter 30

After I felt the pain, and after everything was pitch black, I don't remember a thing. It's like everything suddenly stopped, or slowed down a lot.

So it was weird to be in a void for a while, and then suddenly hear beeping. Slow, steady. Sometimes it would go erratic.

Soon very muffled voices followed the obnoxious beeping. I couldn't really make them out, no matter how hard I tried. It's not like trying to hear someone through water, but more like you're trying to hear someone through a thick wall in the room next to yours.

But then I finally felt everything again. My fingers, my toes, the pain that was being held back by painkillers. The haziness feeling. My eyelids were extremely heavy, but I tried to open them nonetheless.

But my body wasn't cooperating. It didn't want to be awake just yet.

After a while of feeling stuck, being unable to move, unable to open my eyes, and unable to cover my ears from annoying sounds, one sound came through clear as day.

Ransom's voice.

Not even my parents, my close friends, not even the pack doctor, just Ransom.

He would tell me things on how his day went, how much he misses me, sometimes he would yell at how stupid I was, and I would silently agree. But it all came back to just his voice.

Sometimes he would ask me to move some part of my body if I could hear him, or if I was awake. But I couldn't.

Again, even though my mind was ready to wake up, my body was not.

I think it had something to do with the silver, but I'm not sure if it affected my body the way it used too since my wolf was M.I.A.

And no, sadly me being on the brink of death has not brought back my wolf.

One day, I discovered that if I tried hard enough, I could move my index finger just a little. So I saved all my energy that I could possibly save to do it the next time Ransom asked me too.

Which he did, maybe a day later.

"I don't know why I keep trying to ask you, but if you can show me any sign that you can hear me, please."

I felt my hand in one of his, so that's when I was finally able to move it.

I know he felt it, but the beeping suddenly got erratic, and his voice was dragged away.

I had no idea what was happening, or why he was suddenly gone. But at least I managed to get my sign through to him.

The beeping eventually calmed down, and I was once again stuck. I felt like this was a never ending loop.

I'm sick of it.

I saved another day or so to build up whatever strength and energy I could muster up, and put it all towards opening my damn eyes.

I was going to live, and I was going to show everyone that I'm okay, and I'll be better.

It took literally everything, but I managed to barely open them. The light instantly made me want to close them, but if I did that, who knows how long it would take for me to do this again.

So I kept going, and eventually my eyes were open. I was in a hospital room, and that beeping noise turned out to be my heartbeat machine.

I felt air going up my nose, and I that's when I felt a breathing machine taped on my face.

My eyes travel down words, and I see Ransoms head on my leg. His breathing was steady, and his hand holding mine. He was asleep, and all I could see was his wavy black hair.

I don't want to wake him up, because he's been telling me how little sleep he's gotten since I've been here in this room. So I enjoy the moment, and my senses all quickly return back to normal.

I look back down at our connected hands, and I see an IV in my arm. I follow the tubes up to a connected bag of pain killing medicine. Maybe it was morphine? I'm not sure though. I'm not a doctor.

I take a deep breath, and wince when it hurts my abdomen. I let out a soft whimper, and I feel Ransoms head shoot up at me moving slightly.

"You're awake." He chokes, and I give a small, lopsided smile.

He quickly adjusts himself, and carefully plants a delicate kiss on my lips.

I move one of my hands up to his hair, and it immediately brings me comfort. I'm not dreaming, I'm not stuck in a weird afterlife place. He's real, I'm still alive, and he's with me.

He pulls away, and just from a quick, soft kiss, I'm a little out of breath.

He pushes a red button on a remote looking device that rested in my bed, and not long after, a Doctor and Nurse were in the room.

They stop for a moment, seeing that I'm awake, and they both look relieved.

"Welcome back. How are you feeling?" The doctor asks, the nurse immediately going to the machine and recording my vitals.

"Like I got stabbed." I croak, and my throat is scratchy and dry. That was also painful, but at least I could still talk.

Ransom immediately gets up, grabbing a cup and filling it with water. He brings it back to me, which I gulp down.

"Careful, eating or drinking too fast can hurt you." The Doctor warns carefully, and I nod in understanding. At least my throat feels somewhat better.

Both the doctor and the nurse stay for a few more minutes, checking on me, asking me questions, and it was all exhausting. All I wanted was to just be with Ransom, alone.

After a while, the two finally left, and I invited Ransom to cuddle with me in the bed, which he gladly accepted.

I begin explaining what I saw and what I knew.

"So, Easton wants us to be with each other?" He asks slowly, as if he's trying to debate whether I'm telling the truth or not.

"I know I sound insane, but yes." I trace my fingers along his arm lightly, and his head is resting just barely above mine, carefully.

We were both very careful with each other at the moment, which I didn't mind.

"And I saw someone else." I go on, and he hums, as if to ask me who it was.

"She looked like you. Well, at least from what I could see. I could only really make out the color of her hair, which is definitely similar to yours."

We're both silent, not knowing what to say next. We've never really discussed our baby all that much after our fight, and even though it still affects us, it definitely doesn't hurt as much as it should because we both had no emotional attachment.

But now I suppose we do.

"What would you have wanted to name her?" Ransom asks. I shrug.

"I never really thought about it. Did you have something in mind?"

Ransom is silent for a moment. "Sophie."

The air turns thick around us. Not from tension, but more from sadness on what we could've had, but lost.

"I like that." I feel my eyes start to get heavy again, and I feel Ransom nod against me.

He presses his lips to my temple, and I doze off, finally in comfort of a loved one.