Blue Ribbon

Chapter 11 - I will never stop liking you

"I'd learned that some things are best kept a secret."

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Lilly's POV

There is seriously something wrong with me.

I am sure.

A couple of months ago, on my birthday, I kissed Chase. I was drunk and reckless. I just did it for the heck of it.

Never did it cross my mind that it will take me here. I kissed him and everything in my life turned upside down. I kissed him and caught feelings. Feelings so good and so very bad at the same time. Since that night, I've been going through the biggest longest hangover ever.

The thought of him doesn't leave me be. He is everything I can think about. He is everywhere. It's weird. It's exciting. It's annoying. I mean, I have homework, exams, and friends that I need to give some of my time and attention to. Instead, with every passing second, I just find myself ignoring everything and filling my head with him and only him. His smile, his lips, and his beautiful, panty-dropping eyes.

I am not eating. I am not sleeping. I can't concentrate on the simplest of tasks. I don't want to do anything. I just want to fill every waking available moment with him.

The way I am pulled toward him leaves me breathless. I've never experienced anything similar.

True, I've spent all my days crushing over Zack, building up our fantasy relationship in my head. He used to get me all wobbly and excited but he didn't ignite this fire inside my chest like Chase does. He didn't leave my heart pounding this much hard.

He didn't pull me toward him this fast and with this strength.

With Zack, it always felt forced. I did like him, a lot, but there was no chemistry there.

But with Chase, it's natural. So smooth. Our chemistry is off the charts. It's like I've always felt this way but now I just get to open my eyes and notice it.

One thing I am still aware of is that with Zack, I would've had the perfect typical high-school relationship. Because, that's all it will ever be. Temporary. That one relationship almost everyone goes through and learns from. The one where you discover yourself through. The first heartbreak that you laugh at years later but still feel glad that you had it.

I can't deny it, but as much as I am excited for the thought of Chase and me, sometimes, I feel like I am not ready at all. Not ready for something so serious.

With Chase, it feels like a forever.

With Chase, I might...no, who I am kidding, not might, for sure...For sure, I will fall in love. I already feel that I am heading toward that path. I am scared, that with Chase, I'd lose sense of who I am and get wrapped up in us.

Getting this much attached at such a young age, is not healthy. I am sure. It is dangerous.

All these conflicting thoughts lead me back to him and I just felt myself standing by his house, knocking at his door.

It opened and when his eyes fell on mine, all of my worries got washed away. He smiled at my sight and my heart stumbled a little, "Hey," He said.

I didn't waste a second as I marched forward and practically jumped on him. My arms wrapped around his neck as my lips crashed against his. I kissed him, pouring all my distress into the warm touch of his skin.

God, he tasted so sweet and refreshing, like the breath of air I was needing to fill my lungs with. Like I was suffocating, thrashing under the waves of my own crazy thoughts and he just pulled me out, breathing comfort into my chest.