Blue Ribbon

Chapter 8 - Sex Professor

"Trust is the first step to love."

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Lilly's POV

Involuntarily, my fingers lingered over my lips and my eyelids glided down as I recalled back last night. The memory of his kiss imposing and enough to steal every breath of air from my lungs.

God, yesterday's kiss was something else. So different from before. Full with years of built-up hunger, need and desperation.

It was aggressive, hard, demanding and enough to bury itself deep down in my head making it impossible to ever shake it out.

I slept thinking about it and woke up with the same thought. A thrill buzzing through every one of my senses that I can't seem to concentrate on any simple task without him invading every thought there is in my brain. That boy is going to ruin me in the best way possible.

If it wasn't for mom barging in on us yesterday and accidentally interrupting our passionate moment, god knows where things would've led to because I was more than ready to rip off his clothes and have him do things to me I have only read about in books before.

A light knock on my door startled me and unfortunately pulled me out of my blissful daydreaming. Mom peeked inside as I pretended to be busy fixing my hair into a high ponytail.

"Morning baby," She smiled, "Come eat something before you go to school," She said and I nodded, my heart still beating a thousand emotions against my chest and fully out of control.

She looked around the hallway before she got into my room and lightly closed it behind her. I gave her a questioning look, and her eyebrow raised in accusation, "We still didn't discuss what happened last night."

I gulped and she carried on, "Look Lilly, I am not as strict as your father in this area but still, it doesn't mean I tolerate you doing whatever you were doing here in my house with us just across the hallway."

I facepalmed and whined, "Mom, it was just a kiss!" A great one on that note.

"Yeah, I know, but still, a kiss could lead to something more," She started and I wished the floor would open and swallow me in because I am no way ready to discuss sex with my mom, "And I just want you to be careful," the warmth and worry in her tone shook my anger and embarrassment away.

Her hand rested over my arm and she rubbed at it gently, her head titled and she offered me a small smile, "I just don't want you to do something you might regret later." She did have a point there.

I am acting on impulses and operating on hormones, since the day I kissed him on my birthday, I haven't made one logical rational decision. And something tells me, I might as well just regret what's to come.

Though, if you ask, I don't regret kissing Chase one bit. I only wonder, how come I didn't do it before. I was saving it for Zack, I always wanted him to be my first kiss, I obsessed over it for years, and to be honest, I still wonder, if with Chase it feels like this, how would it feel to kiss the guy I've been crushing on for years? Better? or maybe it just won't live up to my expectations?

See, that's why I really need to think this through. I need to put the hormonal rush I get when I touch him away and I need to silence my vagina's voice and finally make a choice. I need to understand my feelings, do I...like Chase? Like actually actually like him in that way? or is it just purely lust?

How in hell am I supposed to figure that out?

"Look Lilly, you're still young, everything now feels new and exciting," Mom's voice pulled me back in, I seem to zone out a lot these days, "You don't think about the consequences of any action you take, so please just be careful," She shook her head, "I am not talking about Chase, that boy is perfect, it relieves me knowing that if you're dating someone, it's him, but still," A flash of sadness crosses her eye, "I have made many mistakes in my life, I just don't want you to go through any of that."