Two Idiots One Bed

Chapter 2

I laugh a bit. "Not really."

Tweek knees me in the stomach.

"AGH!" I cough.

I look around at everyone staring at us and force myself to laugh, giving a thumbs up at the security guard who looks like he's about to tackle us.

"CRAIG, STOP BOTHERING TWEEK," Tolkein yells, going all mom mode.

"Who hit who here?!" I holler back.

Tweek sticks his tongue out at me and I flip him off in return.

Tolkein gestures to everyone that the Uber is here and we all follow him out of the airport and into the parking lot. I walk behind Tweek and stare at the back of his head. I, Craig Tucker, am not going to have it easy this month, am I?

We all enter the car and sit in silence the whole drive, as Tolkein makes small talk with the driver. Stan says nothing (surprisingly), which means Kyle says nothing. Clyde is on his phone next to me. Kenny, Butters, and Tweek are sitting in the back row, behind ours. There wasn't room for all of us so I am involuntarily sharing a seat with Stan. The two of us are silently fighting an epic battle for dominance over the leather thrown. You could take a knife and cut through the built up tension in the air.

We arrive at the hotel and I eye the place up, down, and all around. Are the legends true? Is this what a five star hotel looks like? The walls lined with fluorescent blue lights, a fountain in the middle of the lobby...it's beautiful. On top of that, the lobby isn't quiet in the slightest. In fact, there are people walking about even at this hour. Okay, now I get why there weren't enough rooms. This place must be booked!

The seven of us look around in awe, still frozen in disbelief, as Tolkein gets us checked in.

"Okay guys, you can snap out of it. We should head to our rooms now because we really need to get some sleep!" Tolkein claps twice to take us out of our trance.

We all follow him into a fancy looking elevator with metallic, gold doors. Tolkein punches in a floor number (2) and the elevator starts moving. Kenny boogies to the lame music while Butters and Stan are trying their best not to laugh. I catch Kyle smiling a bit too. It's none of my business but I can't help but wonder why him and Stan have been so quiet since the airport.

The elevator doors open revealing the second floor of the hotel, which is like a whole different theme! Instead of blue, the lights are a warm shade of purple.

As we step out, Tolkein starts to speak. "Okay everyone, listen up. I'm trusting you guys with these room keys. P L E A S E DO NOT LOSE THEM," he warns, handing us all these little plastic cards. "Your room numbers are on these cards, we are all on the same floor. Keep your key safe because you won't be getting another one."

I don't even want to imagine the unspeakable things he will do if one of us lost a key card.

"Thank you dad!" Kenny yells.

Tolkein looks unamused, sighing tiredly. We all take a look at our key cards and head to our respected rooms. Everyone else goes in one direction, leaving Tweek and I to tread down the opposite way. I look at my key card again.

Room 168.

Very close Tolkein, very close. Mr. Tweak and I look at the door of the place we will be living in for the next four weeks. He sighs. I sigh. I slide the key card into it's scanner and open the door to find something utterly horrifying.