If It Was Meant to Be

20

Audrey POV
Finally I change into something a bit more comfy, a red maxi skirt with a white long sleeve halter top.
"Are you ready yet? We have to go!"
"Charlie we have nowhere to be, I'm going to take my time getting ready. Don't worry, it's alright. It's not like we're going to the met gala or something."
"Yeah... or something. The cheerleading tryouts is an equivalent to the met" he nervously chuckles
"Do we have to go though, are you sure we can't just spend the day on the couch, snuggled up to popcorn?"
"Tempting, but no." He gives me a prying glance that I can't resist.
Something in cheerleading just makes me cringe, girls, dancing, having actual diets. How can you live on eating one cube of cheese a day? I just don't get the philosophy of that. Charlie then points to the door demanding me to get of my lazy ass and head out. Closing the door behind me my stomach sinks. All I've got out do is survive watching malnourished freshman fall on their faces, that's it. I pause, staring at the marble floor feeling the ground beneath me sinking my legs deeper into despair. How did I get to this point? Going to watch my worst nightmare, with a friend I haven't seen in weeks. How did I get to the point where every time I contemplate life, I contemplate the reasons Ethan cheated. The reasons I was somewhat not good enough to have an honest and faithful love. Why does my mind sink towards him every time the feeling of regret or laziness. Why does my mind sink towards him when I'm feeling anything at all. For once I want to be free of him, the thought of him, the feeling of coziness laying next to his body. I crave him, his love, his heart, the genuine affection Ethan used to give me for a year. The genuine affection I was stupid enough to think he would give me my whole life.
"Audrey..."
In a perfect world the perfect Audrey would never snap back into reality, escaping the moment and staying in rest and realization was what my mind wanted to do. I need time, I need thoughts, I need... myself to process what happened to me. If Charlie saw me 5 months ago, on the California sands. He would see a happy ending, a happy girl, a perfect world. He would see a girl that just won the lottery, the lucky lottery of love. A girl that didn't have a mask plastered on her face hiding her feelings that were considered emotional to some. I just want time to freeze time letting my emotions die in everything. But that would only happen in a perfect world, a world that will never fully match mine.
"Audrey... please don't be having a stroke, please. I didn't pay attention in the modern health class we took, hell I don't even know what modern health is."