Pearls Of Deen

Independency; the overridden Western concepts overtaking marrying young

The agents of the shayateen have been doing everything they could to put the mu'mineen off track since the beginning of time. Over the past few centuries it has been done in such a way that it may seem as if not much has been done, but actually great damage and fitan have occurred because of this.

Big events like the world wars, renaissance, etc have changed the world, not just in the way we do things, but in the way religion and beliefs are held as well. It brought on changes that changed the natural roles of all humans, with concepts alien to mankind, like liberalism, sexuality, feminism, gender roles, and gender 'equality', among others.

The secular world we live in has created a mindset within the majority of us that may seem to be having a good front, but very few see the reality behind it.

Today, the environment we live in has brainwashed us into a phase of being 'independent' women - women who can supposedly live without menfolk being too much involved - or almost not at all - in our lives. This generally includes schooling and studying for many years, following up careers that are, more often than not, unnecessary, which leaves the women at having a job and working, and neglecting the purpose we have been created for.

Had Allah Ta'aala wanted us to be the free-flying, independent women we are today, it would have been so from the beginning of mankind. Rather, we were created from the rib of man, to be cared for by them, to be next to them and be a companion to them, as Hawwa radiyallahu anha was created to be for Adam alaihis salaam.

The setup of today's society is otherwise. Many women delay marriage as they are busy studying, working, or occupied by some other activity. It is senseless to say that the girls of the youth should not marry early as they are not ready to take on the responsibilities and handle the men that are too 'tender' to be manly.

If we look at the way we live, most women have become so outright and bold in claiming independence and a way of living without men, and since a young age, even at school, girls are taught this. It wouldn't be a wonder as to why some men of today are not masculine enough to fulfill their role. How could it be so when some women have outridden their masculinity and demand to be put in a place of a man?

If the tarbiyah of children is correct, everyone would be able to handle what they should. The girls of today are so focussed on education that the spirit of being a woman is lost. The womanly qualities and preparation to run a household is too often neglected and left for a later stage in life, and unfortunately that stage comes too late because the girls get too occupied with other things.
Knowledge is important, yes; adequate Islamic knowledge is fundamental to everyone. However, education shouldn't be an obstacle in fulfilling our role in life. A balance should be created between it instead of focusing too much on one aspect, which is very prevalent today. It can be pursued after marriage as well.

In today's time relationships among the youth is so common it's absolutely normal. If a haraam relationship, which comes with a waste of time and energy amongst many other disadvantages, how can it be justified when early marriage is pushed away? Marrying at a young age, especially in today's times, is a barrier from the many fitan of existing in today's era.

No one said it'll be all roses and flowers and confetti, but it'll allow the couple to grow stronger and develop together as they explore life, build experiences and crazy moments together, without having a past 'baggage' in the way that could create stress and be a barrier in blossoming successfully. Of course, input has to come from both partners for a beautiful relationship.

Younger women also have higher chances of healthier children, and who doesn't want the best for their child?

We have been told in the hadeeth narrated on the authority of Sayyidina Ali radiyallahu anhu "O 'Ali, do not delay in three things; salaah when its time arrives, the janazah salah when the bier is present and marriage of a woman whose match is found"

And Sayyidina Abdullah bin Mas'ood radiyallahu anhu narrated that Nabi Sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said "O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, and whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for that will be a shield for him."

Marrying young is encouraged in our deen. How come we find it a burden when it is a sunnah and a half of imaan?

We may find many things in our deen insignificant or irrelevant, but our Rabb will not have destined things to be in a certain way had there not been any wisdom in it, whether it is known to us or not. We are so blessed to be upon a religion that is so perfect in every aspect of life that exists; a religion that guides us in the way we do every little thing in our lives, and rewards us for the effort we make to fulfill these actions.

We have to realise that the truly independent place Allah over everything else.