The Void Between Hearts ~~ongoing~~

49. Boma

IT WAS A STUPID DREAM. Okay, only a little stupid, but a surprising milestone, being that I remembered after I woke up.

Maybe I remembered because it was a dream about Ivan: we were kids again, and running around the playground from primary school. I had no awareness of my disease then, neither had his dad died. I was breathing better and that laugh, my laugh, I hadn't realised how much life changed it.

Having the dream and remembering it, is both a blessing and a curse, a reminder of the days I'll never get back, and the days I have left.

I woke up to find Mom and Tee obsessively watching me with stylish smiles, and I started questioning, what have I been living for? I thought I had my answer since I woke up to them, but something about the way they had their rings floating everywhere I looked, made me think otherwise.

I laugh out loud.

"Are you okay?" Mom asks.

I snap out of my thoughts. "I like that you're wearing a dress."

She looks at herself like she didn't think it was anything special. Tee snickers, running his fingers over his beard. I wink at him and he winks back.

"What does that mean?" she looks between me and Tee.

"You're stepping up," I smile.

She laughs. "Let me guess, because you seized my kaftans?"

"At least they're gone," Tee says.

Her jaw drops. "You too?" she asks Tee

"Sorry, babe," he says. I love how his voice seems to engulf the ward and bring it to life. It's hard to believe he's the man that was crying all over his suit yesterday.

Since I had to be admitted at Riverside yesterday evening, probably from all the crying and running I did, they've been acting like them getting married in the midst of my illness was an unforgivable mistake.

"Honeymoon, anybody?" I ask. They don't comply. I look at Tee and back at her. She rolls her eyes like I should drop the conversation. "Mom! Don't do that. You're only making me feel worse," I say.

She eyes me.

I turn to Tee, "look at yourselves, you got married yesterday, yesterday. Did you guys even have sex after I sent you home?"

"Boma!" she yells like I asked a sacrilege.

I roll my eyes ar her and settle them back on Tee. "Well, did you?"

He doesn't answer but I already know they didn't, Mom would have felt guilty as hell. "See, you guys can't be happy. If it wasn't for me, you'd be doing things that newly married people do, things like sex."

"Boma, I'm not appreciating this," she says.

"Mom, come on, I had to force you home last night, else, you'd have slept in the hospital, on the night of your wedding, hawking over me. I'm not a baby mom, I'm not eight anymore, you can stop pretending that I am. Live your life." I catch my breath. Watching as both of them exchange glances.

Tee opens his mouth and closes it.

"Say what you want, you guys are frustrating me," I huff.

He sits up, adjusting the sleeves of his sweatshirt.

"Yes?" I ask. Mom turns away from me. "Mom, don't look away, I'm fine with you wanting to have a life, I am. You don't have to feel guilty about it." My eyes travel back to Tee. He looks at me briefly but remains silent. "I can't believe you guys-"