The Void Between Hearts ~~ongoing~~

43. Ivan

UNLIKE MY BEDROOM CURTAINS, these brown plastic blinds don't automatically slide open, allowing only a tiny ray of afternoon sunlight to peek in through a slit in the fringe.

I had a rather sad breakfast experience earlier. For some reason the hospital only served boiled rice and fish pepper soup. Since I hate fish more than anything else, I called Mother and she made Sua drop by with a flask of sweet potatoes and garlic sauce. I hate that too. But Mother hawked over Sua the whole time and she couldn't sneak in any bread or ogi for me.

The flask hasn't moved an inch from the table.

I check my phone: 2:24pm.
Recent calls: Bo, two days ago.

If she wants to visit, she will.

When Mother visited yesterday, I got signed up for Mandatory Counselling Therapy for 'Troubled Teens.'

Dr. Stubble-Chin decided so himself, and Mother echoed with his decision. I didn't resist, I didn't argue. I'm done with that, and maybe I do infact need help.

"First session is today, three-thirty. Hospital Chapel. Walk out of the room and take the elevator to the last floor. Don't miss it." he said. Indifferent to his reeking stubbornness.

I still don't know why he seems to have some sort of unsettled squabble with me. With most people that meet me, it's an instant love affair, and I must say, it's bothersome to have that one bad egg that Stubble-Chin has become.

"Dr. Stella will be there along with your fellow troubled teens. I'm sure you'll be miserable, but you'll be counselled enough to not want to try suicide again." I mimick him, laughing; as my voice is not nearly as deep as his-scratch that -it's because I'm not as stubborn.

As adviced by everyone in charge of my hospital stay, extremely polite nurses wearing privileged smiles, I sit up.

After being satisfied by the crackling sounds made from stretching my neck, I slip my feet into my leather slides. At least Sua was thoughtful enough to bring them along with her this morning.

I turn off the air conditioner, disconnect the finished drip, and walk to the window.

When I open the blinds, I lose sight for a few seconds, only being able to squint until my vision returned.

A garden is below. With the professionally mowed green lawn, trimmed bushes of bright white flowers and a few sparsely leafed trees, it looks like the perfect spot for meditation.

I poke my head out of the open window as the heat settles on my skin. Closing my eyes, the sundays transform into aurae of whites and yellows. When I open my eyes, the beautiful blue sky rests above.

"Days like this." I think aloud.

Life hasn't changed much since I came back from the 'almost dead' I don't hate Tosin any less, I'm not less angry at Mother, and I'm not any more interested in their planned future.

Mother however seems to be having a different experience. She left me in this hospital without any security or help, and I only had to disagree once.

'Son, that's fine. It's dangerous leaving you by yourself, anybody could walk in. But If you don't want them, I'm going to trust you,' she said.

I laugh to myself again.

Father would have smacked me silly had he been here.

There's a knock at the door.

The woman says, "Kitchen. "

"Come in."

An elderly woman walks in. A white apron tied around her waist. She has the kind of smile you could attribute to long hours of caring for other people who never stop by to really say thank you. She reminds me of Mama Zitere.