Take It Back - Bucky x Reader

Your chariot

Lazily you pulled out your phone, and before you realized it, you found yourself lurking on Instagram. You scroll quickly through the feed, subconsciously looking for one exact name for the five hundredth time that week.

Suddenly, your thumb stops and you feel a frigidness in your upper belly.

You didn't see his name but you saw hers. The picture that you saw made a heavy knot in your throat grow and you couldn't move. Your thumb trembled slightly against your screen, nearly giving the picture a like.

You felt your heart grow heavy and your nerves that were previously numb begin to burn, reaching from your fingertips to your face.

You were nauseous as you felt the need to scream and cry at the same time.

Why bother lying to yourself anymore?

He was the love of your life.

Your love was going to marry your sister and grow a family with her. Your heart shattered at the thought of them having children, having a life together.

Your eyes close tightly together at the image of Ashlyn baring his kids.

You tried to control your breathing as you felt it escape erratically through your nose.

Everything about the situation made you stressed and aggravated; completely and utterly heartbroken.

It was quite obvious to you that he didn't deserve this, Ashlyn didn't deserve him. It annoyed you that he couldn't see how much better he deserved.

It made no sense to you that he didn't feel the same way. Not that you were selfish or anything, because are you fucking kidding me you say to yourself as you reopen your eyes and continue to stare at the picture in your hand.

Your vision begins to blur.

Of course, when you had given him the same teddy bear he had as a little kid, it was the same gesture you had done with Eddie. Of course, it was, because you couldn't help it. It's the kind of girl that you were. It surprised you that he never even said anything about it, you were expecting at least something.

But no, he never even said thank you.

You loved Bucky. You loved him. You were in love with someone you couldn't have.

You were in love with someone that didn't love you back.

Again.

You turned yourself slightly into your pillow on the couch and buried your face into the soft fabric.

You dug your nails into it as you sobbed.

Not again. Not again.

You couldn't bring yourself to go to their engagement, and part of you felt awful because he was your best friend. But you couldn't bear it. Your heart would not be able to take it. How could you fake your complete unhappiness in front of all of those people?

God, what you would do for just one kiss...

The thought makes a whimper leave your lips as you hold onto the pillow tighter.

You don't know when, but eventually, you fell into a short slumber. It was the first nap you've gotten in in seven days.

Brooklyn, New York

There's always something that pushes someone into making a drastic decision in their life. It could be something positive or something negative.

Up until a few weeks ago, the thought of proposing to Ashlyn still seemed far into the future for Bucky. If anything, his hope for that kind of future had begun to dwindle down up until a few weeks ago. But then he realized that the reason he held back was because of you, because of a certain hope that he had for the future.