"Remember me? I'm that girl you left all alone trapped my an alcoholic mom and abusive step dad" I cried out to my brothers.
Gabriela Cattaneo has it all: beauty, brains and brilliance. Beneath the surface, Gabriela is a broken girl. Separated from...
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Roberto Cattaneo died in 2015, his eldest son Alessandro Cattaneo has taken over the family business. The Cattaneo's are infamous for their privacy, with many suspecting involvement with the Italian Mafia. This is something they have always denied due to limited evidence.
There's a picture of Dad below under the news article. He looks so different to how I remember. His cheeks hollow and skin sallow. There's a sadness I can see in his eyes that weren't there before. Just looking at this photo tugs my heart. I miss him. I miss his hugs, and how he'd swoop me up in his arms when I complained about being too short. He made me feel safe, protected. Loved.
I never had a chance to grieve. How can you grieve a person you haven't seen for three quarters of your life? I am as much as a stranger to him as the lady across the street is to me. But still, I have that aching feeling in the middle of my chest. How do you grieve a person you barely know? Instead, I am a graveside littered with dug up graves and no bodies as I don't know who I'm mourning over.
But my dad in the mafia? No. That is too dramatic. The mafia are dangerous, ruthless. Killers. My brothers are awful, but they are nothing like those people in the Godfather. Anyway, it says its something they've always denied. But illegal activities, is that what Xavier was referring to earlier? How would he know anything? Our older brothers have never involved us with anything about the family business, our dad always used to joke that we should enjoy being children while we can but we lost that childhood innocence as soon as we left with mom.
But despite my sanity trying to reassure the anxiety, I still have that nagging feeling in the back of my head. It won't go away. I swear if I could I would slice my brain right of me head just for a chance to live without thoughts. I don't want to think or feel emotions, life is too complex, too hard. I want to be limitless.
But Ian. I forgot about Ian. If they are in the mafia, how does Ian fit into it? What will they do to him? Hesitantly, I decide to have a look as well at Ian Smith but I can't find anything. Not even a picture, or records of him online. There's no birth certificate, no house records. It's like he never even existed, he was just a figment of my imagination.
Anxiously, I keep biting my lip as I keep trying to find any information on him. It's an old habit I can't seem to get rid off. I keep biting it until I can feel the blood splatter on my teeth, the metallic taste on my tongue. I wonder if that's how Mom felt at my age: clueless,alone. You're no longer a little girl, but you're still too young to be classed as an adult. I don't belong to anybody, but yet I'm completely restricted by everybody.
Do I go downstairs and ask Xavier? But what would he tell me, after all he only told me about our brothers being dodgy people our of anger. But, perhaps we could work together and figure out our brothers and their work?
No, he wouldn't tell. He would just do that infuriating thing where he just smirks and hints at stuff but tells you shit all. He probably already knows, and had conspicuously chosen not to tell me.
