Just Love Me

Chapter 25 Part 2: Foolish

"Oh," his shoulders dropped.

"But maybe one day we can have a playdate," I suggested and Maxine nodded. I breathed a sigh of relief seeing JJ's eyes light up again.

"Yay!" he cheered loudly. He gave me another hug then started looking through the cupcakes. I expected Maxine to walk away but she took a step closer instead.

Acting like I didn't notice, I looked behind the counter to see if the baker was finished with the cake.

"She's beautiful," Maxine complimented.

"Thank you."

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about what happened with Joe." I eyed her suspiciously. JJ wasn't paying us attention. He was an arms reach away poking the wrapped honey buns. She cleared her throat before continuing; "He gets wild when he drinks. He tends to get a bit physical even with a little bit of alcohol in his system. Aside from that flaw he really is a great man. Amazing actually."

Why was she telling me this?

"...Joe and I speak everyday. We were friends for a long time before getting married. I can tell when he really cares for another person." I raised my hand to cut her off but she kept speaking. "Let me finish. We all make mistakes. I don't know how much he's told you but it's partially my fault that he is the way he is."

She stepped even closer lowering her voice. "Joe's someone you want in your life. Don't make the same mistake I did." She patted my shoulder then walked away with JJ trailing happily behind her.

Shaking my head, I disregarded everything she said. I didn't know why she would even tell me that when they were messing around while I was living with Joe. Wouldn't she want him for herself? And if she were on some freaking stuff, I wanted no parts of that.

Rocky whined then scrunched her face. I was too busy admiring how much she looked like Rick to notice the strong smell emitting from her diaper.

"Are you serious?"

We were only supposed to be out of the house for a quick trip. I left the baby bag at home. Feeling warmness on my arm, I shifted Rocky seeing, poop seeping from the side of her onesie. She'd even gotten some on my t-shirt. Since all I'd dressed her in was a pink onesie, the mess was spreading everywhere.

Running around Walmart, I made use of the clearance racks. I found a $2 infant outfit, $5 pack of newborn diapers, $3 pack of travel wipes. I knew the birthday cake cost $12 and I had $30 in the bank.

Using baby wipes, I scrubbed the shit stain off my t-shirt. Rocky fell asleep on the changing table while I cleaned her mess and her clothes. Her soiled clothing went straight in the garbage. After I finished, I washed my hands thoroughly then followed with hand sanitizer. I got the cake from the bakery then hightailed it home before Rocky ruined another outfit.

* * *

Sitting on the living room floor, my heart thumped nervously. It was 8pm. He wasn't here with me. Déjà vu hit me strong.

Like a fool, I cooked.

Like a fool, I showered and got dressed.

Like a fool, I had birthday cake.

Badly, I craved the taste of a smooth wine to coat my throat. Anything to numb the longing feeling that consumed me.

He was never later than 7, maybe 7:15 but always here long before 8pm. So why tonight? I felt so stupid for trying. I didn't even know what made me buy a cake. I just thought...