Ethan's POV
I sat in my room, the half-full bottle of vodka on my nightstand beside me. I took another sip, letting the burning liquid go down my throat. I heard the front door open and heard footsteps come up the stairs. A few seconds later, my door opened and Grayson walked in.
"Ethan- Jesus, dude." He said when he saw me.
"What are you doing? You skipped school to do this?" He asked, picking up the bottle of alcohol and inspecting it.
"Just go away." I muttered, my words slurring together.
"Ethan, I'm not going away until you talk to me." He told me.
"I'm hurting okay?" I said raising my voice. He sighed. I snatched the bottle back out of his hand.
"Why were you acting like that at school?" He asked me.
"Why do you think? You think I'd be completely fine with my girlfriend wanting to move across the country, completely forgetting about the plans we had for the future?" I asked.
"Well you didn't have to act like that... it hurt her. And the fact that it happened in front of most of the school too, you could've been a bit more considerate dude." He told me.
"I get it Gray, I could've been nicer about it but I can't go back in time. But you know why I can't do long distance." I told him. Memories of the last relationship I was in came flooding back to me.
"Nothing is going to change, Ethan, I promise. I love you so much"
"I don't know if I'll be able to come visit as soon as I thought"
"Sorry I was just... busy with, um, school stuff"
"I'm not sure if I can do this anymore, Ethan. I'm sorry"
Grayson's words snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Lexi is different than Cora was and you know that." He told me.
"But that doesn't mean that the same situation can't happen again, even though Lexi and I are closer than Cora and I ever were." I told my brother.
"You're a coward." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"You're a coward, Ethan. You're afraid to even try to do long distance with Lexi because you're afraid of getting hurt. If you stayed here and she went to Columbia, it would be four years of long distance. If you put that into perspective of how long your entire life is, that you think you're gonna spend together, it should be worth it. Four years apart, but you're gonna spend the rest of your lives, at least seventy more years together." Grayson said, raising his voice.
"I'm not a coward Grayson, you just don't get it. That was one of the worst pain I've felt, and I'm not ready yet for it to happen again, okay?? I'm not ready yet for that pain!" I slurred, tears falling down my face. I heard a knock from downstairs and Grayson and I looked at each other. He left my room and headed down the stairs.
"Is Ethan home?" I heard Lexi's voice. Why was she here?
"Yeah. He's in his room." Grayson told her, and he said something after that but I couldn't make out what he said. I heard footsteps and suddenly Lexi was standing in my doorway. Her eyes changed, almost in a sad way, when we made eye contact.
"Ethan..." She started to say.
"Please just leave..." I whispered, but I didn't think before I said it. It was almost like I wasn't thinking, something else was thinking for me.
"I wanted to talk-" She frowned.
"Just leave." I said louder this time.
"I'm not leaving until you talk to me." She said, her eyes watering.
"Please leave! That's all I'm asking! I can't do this right now..." I yelled.
She didn't say anything but just nodded, before turning around and walking away. I slammed the door, hitting my fist against it. I looked out the window to see Lexi walking down the driveway towards her car, tears falling down her cheeks. Grayson ran behind her and hugged her tightly once he had caught up. She was now broken inside and it was my fault.
"Fuck." I said under my breath, regretting everything that just happened, and knowing there was no way to turn back time.
