Throw Down Your Heart

Chapter Two - Oprah and Ellen

Chapter Two - Oprah and Ellen

~~ Two Weeks Later ~~

There's something so eeri of being alone on a plane. Obviously there's a pilot, but I'm the only passenger, which is really strange. Here we are, miles up in the sky, and the only person I have to talk to is myself. I don't even have my phone to listen to music on. You see, I was out running a couple days ago and Luke has just been calling non-stop and I finally got so fed up with him that I unplugged my earbuds from my phone and threw it into the lake I was running past. Good news is that after a call (made from Emily's phone) to the Apple Store they said that they could load all my information back on a new phone from my last iCloud backup. They're shipping a new phone to Drew's house, where I'm going when I land today.

I tried to strike up a conversation with the pilot, but he was less than interested, so it was just me in my lonesome. In good news I made it through finals okay and I actually did a pretty good job avoiding everyone in my old group of friends too. Luke was working pretty hard to track me down too, so my stealth skills have reached an all new level. I've actually talked to Luke once since I left. He just wouldn't stop calling me, so finally I decided to answer. Can't say I wouldn't do it differently if I had the option to. At first he was happy I picked up the phone, but things quickly went downhill from there.

"Rosie, oh my god, you're alive!" He exclaimed when I picked up. I rolled my eyes sourly at how egocentric he is.

"Just because I found out you're a cheating asshole doesn't mean I'll drop dead." I replied dryly. I'm not so great with emotions. I tend to get defensive when I'm hurt as a result of the way I was bullied as a kid. This was something Luke wasn't a big fan of. When he didn't say anything I started again. "Why are you even calling me?"

"Because you up and left!" He cried in outrage.

"Did you think that calling me would change anything?"

"I don't know." He mumbled guiltily. Here's the thing, I don't think he really feels sorry for hurting me. I think he's sorry for himself because he feels bad about it.

"And what were you hoping to get out of it?" I asked, taking in his bullshit answers. I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to feel. I should be angry, but I'm not really. I should be sad, but I'm not really. I feel more numb than anything.

"I guess I wanted you to forgive me?" Luke replied, phrasing it like a question. This is how things like this always go with him. He always finds a way to ask for forgiveness without offering an apology.

"Why'd you do it?" I asked him, disappointed in myself for asking. Stupid, stupid question.

"It was exciting. I wanted more and she was there." He replied simply.

"You wanted more?" It's not like I wasn't putting out either, because I was. Believe me, I was.

"Actually, I guess I wanted less. With Angie it was just less serious. She didn't want the same kind of commitment you did." I was flabbergasted. Not once did he ever say we were getting too serious. He asked me to move in with him! Why didn't he just say so? This whole thing could've been avoided.

"How long were you sleeping with her?"

"Is that really important?" He asked awkwardly. I know exactly what the face he's making right now looks like. He's squinting a little and grimacing while he rubs the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"How long, Luke?" I asked again, my voice shaky. If he didn't want to tell me it must be bad.

"Since the start of this school year."  So there were bigger issues than commitment.