Chapter 1 ~ "Again"

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"One more time Sasha, you'll nail it this time!" 

Yeah I've heard that one before. He says one more when he really means fifty when he knows damn well I can nail them every time. 

I build up momentum and leap up twisting my body around, one, two, three times before landing on my right foot and skating back out of it. I land with my arms up and a smile on my face.

"Not high enough Sasha, again!" I hear dad scream and my smile instantly vanishes. So I get ready to try again. The rest of my coaching team sits cold in the penalty box and I desperately wish my real coaches would take a turn coaching me. Kate and Johnathan are pros, they know this stuff but dad always seems to think he knows better.

A triple Salchow is no easy jump to master, yet no matter how I execute this one it's just never good enough. I'll be at this for hours but I know it's worth it, I need to nail my routines at sectionals this year if I want to make it.

Figure skating has been my life since I was a little girl. I work hard everyday to make my dreams come true. I practice at night Monday, Wednesday and Friday and in the morning Tuesdays and Thursdays. Every afternoon is spent in ballet keeping my flexibility up and I squeeze in a physio appointment wherever I can.

The weekends are for competing in small competitions and working on my routines. Figure skating is demanding, technical and requires perfection. Mondays are usually the worst for me, dad runs my practices those evenings and they're much harder than my others.

"Switch it up, you're still landing with a slight inside edge. Show me your triple Lutz!" He yells and I nod. Because those are so different. 

I had a small competition this weekend in preparation for sectionals. I knew I'd make sectionals, I just needed to place first or second in my competition two weeks from now.

I loved the ice, the grace, the beauty that came with it all. I felt truly beautiful and free whenever I skated.

"No Sasha!" Except maybe not right now. "We've talked about this, your arms are flailing! You keep them in and under control!" Dad yells and I nod.

Dad loved figure skating perhaps as some would say, too much. He was a figure skater back home in Russia many years ago, but missed his chance at the olympics. That seems to be what he sees for me. The Olympics seemed like a bigger deal than I was really prepared to take on, but dad always pushed me to do it.

"We'll be here all night until you get it right!" He screams and I nod again. I knew better than to say anything to dad, we'd go until the rink forced us out. 

I loved my coaches, Kate was set to go to the olympics many years ago but tore her ACL before she could get there. She was really a gorgeous skater and helped me with the artistic side of things. Johnathan was a men's junior world champion, he was responsible for thinking outside the box and getting creative. Dad's mission was to focus on my technique and discipline, which seemed to over-shadow everything else.

But of course that was the most important thing, blowing a jump or a turn would cost you your program. So I worked here alone on Tuesdays and Thursdays, by myself practicing jumps and turns. I worked nonstop and eventually it was going to pay-off.

"One more time!" Dad says and I huff leaping up but not watching my footing. I land hard on my butt as my skates come out from under me and I wince. "Sasha!" He screams angrily. "Focus, you can't skate with a broken leg." Me falling or wobbling in turns really angered him.

I hobble up and shake it off. I fell often, bruises and soreness were things I was used to. But they made for agony the next day when I'd wake up. Hopefully I'd be feeling alright for school tomorrow.

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