Our Hill of Stars

15 Big Steps

A S H L Y N

Just like that, he was gone. Eli left me alone at the observation tower, dumbfounded. My heart skipped a few beats. What if he was running to Holly?

No, that was silly. He wouldn't. He sounded disgusted when he talked about her, he wasn't running back to her. Still, there was lingering doubt. He hadn't exactly been honest about his past. Then again, he hadn't really been dishonest either. He did say he thought we were trying to be casual, which I suppose, accounted for some of the omission. Who wanted to get deep and personal in a causal relationship? Of course, the way things had gone tonight, I think we now were careening past casual. I climbed down the ladder, pondering this.

People did dumb stuff in high school and college. It was embarrassing to talk about. I had done a fair number of keg stands in college once or twice in skirts. I didn't really like to bring it up. Eli was probably the same way. Right? Yeah, right. And if he was doing things that could get him arrested? Doubly embarrassing.

I had pretty much talked myself into believing this line of thinking when I waltzed through the front door. Sadie was already up and in the kitchen making coffee.

"It's barely five," I said. "How come it looks like you've been up for hours?"

"Just about forty minutes. Were you out all night?" Her eyes widened when she saw me. My shirt was a bit askew and my hair mussed from sleeping outside in the tower. I did my best to smooth my hair and adjust my shirt.

"You did not get busy out there!" She whispered aggressively at me.

"No!" I snapped back. "We got a little handsy, but that was it. We just fell asleep looking at the stars. Then he dashed off. I think there was a family emergency...?"

"You think?"

"He got a text and darted off like a bat out of hell. You don't think..." I left my question unsaid.

"If you're worried about his ex. Noah said don't be. He says she's just making trouble, thinks she's being helpful. I guess when Eli's mom died there was a lot of friction in the relationship."

My heart leapt into my throat, strangling me. "His mom what?" I managed to rasp.

Sadie looked at me with narrowed eyes. "You didn't know his mom had passed away?"

"No!" I didn't want to wake up Grandma Lucy, but I couldn't contain my voice this time.

I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep from yelling obscenities.

Sadie came to my side and wrapped an arm around me. Her presence did nothing to warm my suddenly cold body. She steered me to the kitchen table and sat me down, putting her cup of coffee in front of me.

"Look, I'm sure it's because that's a lot for a new relationship," she said, staying calm. "Have you told him what's actually wrong with Lucy?"

"Well, no." He knew she was ill and that's why I was here. But I didn't say anything about her COPD or the frequent lung infections she'd been suffering or her lifelong battle with asthma. "I didn't think he'd want to or even needed to know the details."

"I'm willing to bet he was thinking the same. This is summer love, Ashlyn, the baggage can stay in the hotel room."

I looked at Sadie, my vision starting to blur from tears. I sniffed them back and shook my head. "It feels like more, though." My voice came out as a whisper.

I dropped my eyes and watched the wisps of steam from Sadie's coffee curl up from the cup. I looked down into the creamy, brown liquid, overcome with creamer, just like she liked it. The roasted smell of vanilla filled my nostrils, centering me a little. I let myself get lost in the familiar feelings of a morning spent with Sadie.