nineteen

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"Tommo..."

That's it. My heart got broken into a million pieces. I couldn't stand hearing his voice so broken, I just couldn't. I knew I couldn't say anything, but I did the one thing I could.

"Shhhh...." I whispered.

He took a deep breath.

"Your voice is so beautiful." He whispered. I smiled to the phone, quietly laughing at his stupidity. My thoughts got cut off my him, "and don't you dare think I am stupid for saying that, I know your voice is beautiful, I know your laugh is beautiful. I wanna tell you how I imagine you to be."

"Mhm." I agreed.

"I imagine you with blue eyes because you once told me you have blue eyes...you also told me you hate how small your eyes are which I think is completely dumb, I imagine you'd have crinkles near them every time you smile. You once said you're always too lazy to shave so I think you have a cute messy stubble. I think you have light brown fluffy hair..."

I was really shocked at how close all of his answers were. How is this possible?

"I also think you look like a different version of my crush." He laughed. Does he think I look like a girl? Really? "But I think you're much cuter." He whispered softly, as if he didn't want me to hear.

"You know, when I was little I always wanted a little kitten, but I wanted it to never grow up, always stay small and cute. And my elder sister..." he let out a quiet sob and continued, "...she used to bring home kittens from a shelter she worked at as a teen, and when they'd grow up she'd take them back and bring another one. But I used to get so attached to them that I didn't want a new one. Then I would go to the shelter with her and meet them again, when they were already grown up and had their own kittens. They were still cute, of course, less cuter but still, they loved me." his bittersweet smile could be heard from his voice. I laughed quietly and quickly covered my mouth, afraid he'd hear my voice.

"I love your laugh." he said, making me blush.

And there we laid, a thousand miles away from each other, listening to each other's breathing.

Soon I got really tired and my eyes closed, Harry wasn't talking anymore either. After about 15 minutes of silence, I heard a voice.

"I know you're probably sleeping and that's why I'll say what I'm going to say now. Good night, Tommo, I am glad you exist."

And the other line went quiet.

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i sobbed while writing this

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